My Brother.

Thanks guys.
he’s been spending alot of time at his new girlfriends house so i havent seen or had to much to do with him in the last few days.

I just never thought it would ever come to this. I always thought i would have him in my life, but he dosent even seem to care that i havent spoken to him.

I guess it dosent really matter who someone is, you dont have to put up with their drama and shit and you can just walk away.

My brother Don is 4 years older than me, he has always been in and out of my life since he hit teenage-hood. but when ever i have needed him he was there.
But in the last year he has become increasingly judgmental, mean, and down right nasty and rude to me.
I have (as i have said on here before) been seeing a counsellor, and ive known been put on anti-depressants and been sent to see a psychologist. Since all this has happen he has gone from one minute being nice and supportive to making comments and re-marks that he knows will hurt me. Normally we dont talk for a few days and then we go back to being okay.

A month ago we were sitting outside eat tea with his kids, our younger brother and a family friend. when i said to the family friend that i had been put on anti-depressants my brother turned to me with this intense look of hatred on his face and said “you keep popping you pills and tellings yourself that you have something to fucking complain about”.
I was in complete shock i didnt know what to do or say and i just sat there and took it.
Once we’d all finished tea, he went off with his kids and the family friend and i went inside with my younger brother.

I completely broke down crying, telling my younger brother (who is my step brother) things that he never knew about our family and how bad things were for me growing up. I told him how my brother knew this and how i just didnt get how he could treat me like that. I have never once made a personal attack against any of my brothers or used their mistakes against them, But my Don does to me al the time.

I havent spoken to him since and its been a month. Its hard because we are both living in the same house.

My mother keeps telling me that i need to work through it and work it out with him, but how much of his shit and verbal abuse am i meant to take? I am already at the point that i think he just isnt worth it anymore.
Im trying to better myself and be okay with myself and be happy, how can i do that if he just keeps attacking me when ever he feels like it?

What am i meant to do? Do i still keep him in myself because he is my brother or do i just walk away?

oh my :-/ i’m sorry, i probably won’t be much help…

I think he’s probably having some troubles but he needs to realise that he shouldn’t be putting his shit on you. confront him and let him know that he is really hurting your feelings.
If he blows a shitload at you for that…well, my… >:-[ Your brother needs to start respecting you and sort out his problems. If he is negatively influencing your life, i think this is one relationship you need to break away from for the time being. He may have been supportive in the past, but right now your brother isn’t going to do much but emotionally hurt you. Until he sorts himself out, it might be best to not take his shit and steer clear.
I know, it hurts especially since he’s a close and important person in your life, but being with him right now will just cause you more harm and he honestly needs to apologize as you don’t need that offensive crap from him.
But in all honesty, your brother should have already made it up to you and your mum needs to realise that this is serious. Oh, i just realised that he keeps attacking you whenever he feels like it after re-reading your post. That is wrong of him, next time, ask him what the fuck is his problem.

you said u live together?>maybe change that ….u cood just be stepping on each others toes!

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time with your brother plus your medical issues. You say that you don’t have a very supportive family and have nowhere else to go. That is a hard situation to deal with.

All I can say is that you need to care for yourself and do your best to ignore your brother. He seems to have issues and lashes out at you because he considers you weak. My brother used to do the same thing to me even when we were adults and living in separate places. I did not tolerate it and I cut him out of my life. My mother sided with him and I cut her out as well. They did other things to me which I won’t mention as it was so disgraceful. This was over 10 years ago. Have been feeling much freer within myself and I don’t regret it at all.

Unfortunately you can’t get away and it sounds like your mother isn’t helping either. If you can go out during the day or evening and visit with friends who are good to you, that would help. Sounds like you need to spend as much time outside the house as you can.

What does your counsellor suggest you do?

Take care. xo

aww thats terrible, all i have to say is i hope you get through all this ok ( i am sure you will) just keep your head up and tell urself everything will be ok! we are all here for u if you need us. please dont hessatate posting it on here cause we will all give u the support you need 🙂
hope everything gets better. xx

Seems to me like your brother is going through some trouble of his own, and is taken back with your ability to open up to others about your own problems, when he doesn’t have the courage to do it himself. It’s hard when you’re family, but don’t take any of his shit.

Although it probably wasn’t on your mind anyway, lashing out at him won’t help any, but I thought I should mention it anyway. Perhaps you should breach the subject with him, confront him about his behaviour in as distant a manner as you can, and discuss what’s happening between you. However, if you sense that his mood won’t sway that way, the next time he’s unpleasant, look him in the eyes and ask what the fuck his problem is.

He’s your brother and although he isn’t treating you the best at the moment, it’s heartbreaking to think that you walked away from eachother without so much as an argument as to why your realtionship fell apart.

Hi Vanessa, is there somewhere else you can stay? Like another family member, friend’s place? You probably need some space from your brother.

No, there is no where else. I dont have a very good or supportive family and i would move out but i am currently under medical investigation because my heart keeps racing for no reason. so i cant go out and get a job. Right now im stuck here.

Hi Vanessa, is there somewhere else you can stay? Like another family member, friend’s place? You probably need some space from your brother.