Stepson moved out today YOOHOO about time.

So happy to see your situation has improved Molly and you have peace 🙂 I agree with everything the ladies have said about keeping records etc for future reference if you need them. For now, don’t stress too much and just enjoy how things have changed for the better 🙂

goddessmagick, thats exactly what hubby and I are hoping for. In the meantime I am just enjoying some quiet time without him peering down my shoulder and without worrying about what trouble he is going to cause next. Sad as it may be, thats what he had become. TROUBLE, big trouble.

Mollygirl i’m happy to hear he has moved out and you can relax and get on with life. The advice to keep a record of the bad behaviour etc may be helpful in future if he becomes violent or threatening. All I can say is that if I were the parent I wouldn’t aggrevate the situation. Hopefully moving out will mean he learns to grow up, pay bills, learn consequences etc and eventually may mature into a wonderful person who will realise that bad behaviour is not worth it 🙂

Lots of love xxx
glad you are happy now anyhow

Thank you so much ladies for all your input and help. I dont have facebook unfortunately so I cant copy and print what he wrote and I know that he has made his page private now since I he was caught out smoking because of a pic he posted, another lie he got caught out in. I will see if my daughter in law cant copy it and send it to me but he may have removed it by now because I spoke to hubby this morning (he is at QLD at moment working) and he rang him up and told him to grow up and get rid of the garbage off his facebook page. Besides after the smoking incident he deleted all of my kids off his page so that they couldnt check up on him. For crying out loud he was 20 when he posted the pic and it wasnt the smoking that hubby got mad at but the lies he told to go with it. Anyway hubby told him thats he is out on his own now and maybe in time we will have a better relationship with him once he grows up and realises how easy he had it at home. I am just so relieved that he is gone and my son is too although before he left he said some pretty nasty things about and to my son last night which I dont think he will be getting over in a hurry.
I feel like for the first time in years I can finally relax in my own home without all of his attitude and nastiness surrounding me.
And shull you are so right about not worrying about things we cant control, its a waste of energy, I just have to remind myself of that occasionally. And yes keppers he is acting like he’s five and not 20 and he always has thats one of the things that has been most difficult because theres no reasoning with a five year old. I like your suggestion too Alice because there is nothing worse than someone you hate being really nice to you and it is confusing and humiliating and I certainly dont want to end up lowering myself to his standards.
Jatz, its the best thing thats happened around here in a long long time even though it feels like I’ve waited forever for it to finally happen but it was all worth it.
Thanks again ladies, you are angels.

Yay……Molly he has moved out. Honestly, he just needs to grow up. Of course he will lash out and try to hurt you but just keep your chin up and sweep it under the carpet otherwise it will eat you up.
You can breathe now, so breatheeeeee.
You never know, once he has been out on his own for a long time and matures, things may get better down the track.

I’d suggest that you combine what makeupcrazed and Shull said. Keep copies of anything that you can, and keep notes on everything that has been said, including who said what if it was 2nd hand information. Make sure that everything is dated, both with the date of the original alleged incidents and the date that you were told about it.

Keep it all together in a directory on your computer, or on a flash drive. Consider all of it to have been packed away there and no longer part of your life. If more comes along, file it with the rest. Once it’s filed, forget about it.

Having accumulated and collated all of that information, don’t say anything to anybody to stir things up. Just keep the whole thing stored away, and file away any aggression you might feel towards him with the rest.

Then, be nice to him. If you want, be overly nice. Not insincerely nice, but genuine. Treat him with respect at all times, even if you think that he doesn’t deserve it. It might annoy him, or it might confuse him, but don’t lower yourself to being bitter or nasty.

I am pleased for you that your stepson has moved out. With regard to future interactions, I would follow Shul and Oceangirl’s advice.

Like the idea that makupcrazed suggested. I am a great believer in keeping documentation and diarising things as you never know what can happen in the future.

Hope all goes well for you from now on. x

So well said Shull87, i totally agree with you. My best friend has a step son whom is now 28, he left home when he was 18 and said some pretty cruel things to his step mum and step siblings before he left home, she was always kind to him and never left him out of anything, now years later children of his own his relationship with his step mum couldnt be better, they are the best of friends now.

Your step son is still mentally immature, just be a great mum to him and thats all you could do, cause at the end of the day he is only making an idiot of himself not you. In time he will see his actions and im sure will regret them deeply.

A wise person once told me do not worry about the stuff u cannot control as there is nothing that can be done and you are just working yourself up… I would not stir the pot just be a good mum and trust in karma ….dont stir the pot …one day when he has kids or grows up im sure everything will change ….but just dont poke the bear.