Need advice!!

i think i`m beginning to look at the big picture now but i still believe in our relationship ahead of `what the right thing to do` is according to the society…will let ya girlies know what happens and if things get worse 🙂

i understand all that, but his decision to break up was really sudden. We weren`t even planning on telling my parents (yes they don`t know about us yet!) I`ll absolutely be the one to handle my family when its the right time because i`m the one who will know what to say. His problem is the guilt he will feel afterwards if things get bad between me and my family. I don`t know if he`s willing to risk living with the guilt to be with me…also i have tried to tell him that it`ll all be ok but he still said he doesn`t think he can get back together…i`m not sure if he really means that cause he still asked for time to think. I just dont think he`s gonna benefit from all the thinking :S
i`m planning on seeing him in about 2 weeks time so i dont come off too pushy.
I am afraid that he might move on mentally though, not emotionally 🙁

I agree with Princess75 totally. When I was young I was given some really good advice – Start as you mean to continue and the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Your family is your responsibility and you want to try to avoid your boyfriend and your family having it out. No good can come from this and it will probably only cause more problems between them down the track. I would be giving him assurances so he knows how your feeling and what your doing about it. If he thinks he is doing the best for you and he doesn`t hear from you he might move on. I think you need to come up with a plan and then talk to him about it.

i`d be giving him the assurances myself. it must be hard for him knowing that your family don`t like him. that`s very personal.
if he is at the confrontation i think you`ll find he may become confused as to if he should interject and defend himself and you. that would just be a really difficult thing to sit with your mouth shut watching as your self and the woman you love being torn down. that`s all i meant.

Princess you might be surprised but i don`t even expect him to speak to my parents at the confrontation. We`re not really ready to take the next step yet. I need a full time job and all first.
It just feels wrong to keep pushing him to stay…maybe i should let him realise how much he wants it first…or is it better to give him assurance then ask what he wants to do?
Sorry about all the questions, i`m just very confused 🙁
p.s. you ladies are very wonderful to listen and give honest advice…very much appreciated 🙂

i`m glad you feel we can help a little Twiggy87, sometimes outside opinions are more objective because we don`t have that emotional attachment to you or your man.
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i wonder if he doesn`t want to confront your family with you so much, because he feels it`s your family, therefore it should come from you. if he was there at a confrontation fighting for your relationship, perhaps he is concerned that he would say the wrong thing causing further damage.
ultimately it is up to you personally to pull your family into line.
first of all, you need to go and stay with or visit him and make sure you are on the same page and let him know how YOU plan to deal with the family situation.

yes i agree with u all 🙂 i`m just so glad i can get some different perspectives and get some sort of light. Thank you so much sweeties 🙂 I know i can come here and get your perspectives as you`ve been there…most my friends are just my age which makes it hard for them to see it from the other perspective.
I believe its meant to be cause we have already been through a lot together. We also live quite far from one another :S maybe he`s just had enough of the issues and isn`t focusing on the positives between us. I`ll have to give him time to miss me.
Also since we`ve been on the break, we have not seen each other once. Do you think if he`s being hesistant, seeing me will help him feel something he`s not feeling at this point?

I think if it`s meant to be it will be and if it`s not that`s because there is something better for you. My hubby and I got off to a really bad start. We up until probably 6 months ago had all sorts of things and people try to come between us. In the beginning we did break up but it was meant to be so 11yrs and 3 kids later we are still going strong and more in love than ever. Follow your heart and your intuition. Maybe he just needs some reassurance that he isn`t going to ruin your life if your relationship with your family is destroyed. Besides it`s your family that are causing the problem not him.

my hubby was married 2 weeks before his 21st birthday.
AGe is just a number. Maturity comes from experiences.

Twiggy I was 22 when I got married (I am now 28), so if you are serious about each other do what Princess said and confront your family together. He is probably worried for because he cares about you – if he didn`t care he wouldn`t be concerned about our relationship with your family. And you`re right – we all handle pressure in our own way. But I had to agree with what Princess said – you do grow up, move out and start your own family – and that`s who becomes number 1. If you think he is the one for you – fight for it.