Mens take on being a woman.

written in perspective of a man

Sure they get boobs. Those goddamit buds made our lives HELL when we were teens!! If we brush past ’em we get slapped kicked and called a perv… Sure they bloat n cramp n have blood leaking out of them for 5 days a month. They really need a plumber:) But thats no reason to complain! Just cause we give her a extra lovin(albeit tight) hug doesnt mean we are being mean, we are just being friendly! I mean, geez toughen up! If the cat lands on her stomach her eyes pop out of her head,she screams hollers and gasps. God, the cat weighs four kilos for crying out loud..Kids are another thing… sure she swells and she has giant ankles and a watermelon in her stomach doesnt mean she cant wash up, clean the house, vacumn or drive the bloody car. during labour she yells and crys and has no idea of what we are going through, her breaking our fingers for the entire 4-40 hours and us listening to docs telling her to clam up and calm down.. she is only fitting something the size of a bowling ball through a keyhole… Geez toughen up!!! She then expects us to help with the baby, and when things go wrong, blames our manhood for it… grrr… (she was asking for it)Then the kids go all slobbery, poopy and smelly, needing to be bathed once or twice a day, nappies changed every few hours. and we are meant to get up from in front of the telly, put the beer down and change their little bitty bottoms. THEN the snotrags grow up to be teens, with pimples, boyfriends, bloating and bleeding (the girls) and fights, perving on girls and hair issues (either not enough or too much) with the boys. Mind you, I pity my boys, not being able to touch without hurting something (again toughen up). A few years after the kids leave home and the wife gets menopausal – who invented theis c**p??? I !@*%$&%$ that person!!! Hot flushes, night sweats…..blah blah blah.

AND THEN THE KIDS GO THROUGH ALL THIS GODDAMMIT!!

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