Feeling down
i dont know what it is but lately i have felt really down.
to the point that i want to spend the weekend in bed crying and that i just feel like nothing i ever do is good enuf anymore. I try and make effort at home, i dont get thanks i get told how to do things better, when i am not at a stage where i cant do things as i could before… that i am expected to spend my weekend cleaning, i did some washing and it just exaughsted me.
My hubby says he wants to spend time with me, but if one of his mates call he takes up the better offer. while leaving he says oh when the baby comes along i wont be able to do it. I just feel like no one is interested in me anymore, that i am imaginery, or i dont exist.
Some days i just dont know what is wrong, like today, i got no sleep, and still trying to kick this flu, which hubby says is no big deal, and didnt even realise i have been sick for nearly 2 weeks now. It annoys me that ppl make decisions for me, without consulting me, i am 27 i am sure i know what i am capable of and that i can answer for myself. I am being treated like a baby and i hate it.
After spending the day working 9 hours i am expected to come home cook and clean, but i just dont have the energy, i cant remember the last time i have ever done anything for me, and no i dont feel right spending the money on myself that is better off saving for bubs.
I dont think i have ever been to a spa resort, i wish i could i just dont have the cash nor do i feel right in being that selfish. It isnt in my nature, i prefer to put others first. I dont know what to do anymore, i am now at the stage thinking, arent i suppose to enjoy pregnancy not spend so much of it upset and down.
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