Break-ups

Hi Fluffy Bunny,
I`m not sure how you get over those kinds of jealous feelings, i`m not a jealous person, i`m pretty secure with who i am etc so i`m not much good for you there.
the thing about the comments though, like `“Even a whole team of psychiatrists working 24/7 couldn`t figure out the dark depths of my bunny`s mind”, even if he says them jokingly, if they have any effect on you, then you need to tell him. if he understands how sensitive you are then he needs to know that you see these types of comments as a `passive aggressive` attack. he may just not be aware, but still the fact they are said leaves a negative conotation. I don`t know if you`ve tried therapy to help you deal with your issues from when you were younger but perhaps that would be helpful for you too. It must be just awful to have those deep emotional scars.
as for `looking`, well my hubby does it, but he also looks at a guy and says `he`s a good looking bloke` etc, same as i do, i always check out girls, what they`re wearing, hair, style, makeup etc. i also comment if a guy is goodlooking to me. it`s not that i WANT them, i`m just making an observation.

Tell him you may be “”deep and thoughtful””…but you don`t want any more negative comments coming your way…men just don`t think as “”deeply”” as women…and don`t understand the implications of things that they say, can be so hurtful…maybe he`s feeling a little insecure that you might go off with someone else…and that`s his way of deflecting his negative thoughts onto you…so the circle just has to stop.

Thank you very much for the kind words/advice G69 
My bf is only joking when he accuses me of having rabies – and usually we laugh about it, but I hear it so often from him, and other little comments like “Even a whole team of psychiatrists working 24/7 couldn`t figure out the dark depths of my bunny`s mind” … they seem funny, and he means them to be, but when I hear them all the time they start to tear me down. At the end of the day, our relationship is wonderful – we both have very lovely homes, we`ve just got a puppy together, our joint salary is a lot higher than average households, we are great friends and deeply in love, etc …. I just can`t seem to resign myself to the fact that men will always look at other women. I want his appetite to be for me ALONE! I know it may seem a little irrational, but I don`t want him looking at ANY other girl, whether on the street or in a porn film and think, even for a fleeting second that he wants her! But like you suggested, maybe I just need to rebuild my own confidence – I tend to be a bit harsh on myself, so perhaps if I feel better about myself, I`ll be easier on him 

Thats terrible fluffy bunny… him accusing you of having rabies…but I`m sure he`s only joking….there must be something there that attracts him to you and visa versa, otherwise you would not be together…just go with the flow and try not to think about the negative things and think about the postitive…it`s in mens nature to `look`…as the saying goes…””it doesn`t matter where you get your appitite, as long as you eat it at home”” …I`m sure he loves you for who you are… inside and out…you have to `get over` the jealousy as it will destroy the realationship…it`s not a relaxing feeling to have…talk about these feelings you are having…remember “”communication”” is the key to any trusting and healthy realatiionship…you need to build your confidence and maybe saying an affirmation to yourself in the mirror…””I am a beautiful confident woman and I deserve the best, my boyfiend loves me 100%!””

I`m happy to say I`ve never been through a real breakup. However, relationship issues is something I know all about! I won`t go into the grisly details, but there are things that happened to me as a young teen that left me emotionally scarred by a man. I was very, very hurt, both physically and emotionally. Add that to the abandonment issues I have caused by my family, I bring alot of baggage to a relationship! However, I have been with my first boyfriend for just over seven months now – he is a wonderful man, and we love each other very dearly. He is 13 years older than me, which is good as he is very mature and grounded and can deal with all my craziness. However, I am having problems with EXTREME jealousy, and I was wondering if anyone else could share experiences they have with jealousy/advice etc, so I know I`m not completely crazy! Firstly, my bf has never really done anything to make me suspect him, but I still watch his every move, if I see him looking at any girl, whether it`s on the street, in a bar, on a movie screen, in a tv show, I get so upset I feel physically ill. If I`m out with him and I see any girl who is thinner or hotter than me, I start freaking out inwardly that he is going to look at her and want her more than he wants me. I know it`s ridiculous, but I can`t seem to stop it. Needles to say, it ruins many outings for me, as I am constantly viewing any other woman as the enemy, and tearing myself down.

Damn, I AM a crazy girl! lol. His nickname for me is “”Bunny”” and quite often he accuses me of having rabies …. LOL!

Aww BB its only fair to give yourself time…i was about your age when i broke up with my first bf although it wasn`t a mutual decision, he was just a prick who cheated on me 🙁 it took me the rest of the following year to get completely over him! That was partially because he kept trying to get back with me and i used to get weak at times.
It can be very confusing and difficult. I gave myself a lot of time to get over him and just enjoyed my friends and going out. I would still have been single if i hadn`t met my current boyfriend. Things happen for a reason…i always believe that.
Keep a smile on that face for now 🙂

Ive had two boyfriends, both of them lasted about a year. The first one broke up with me and i broke up with the second one. I have had a recent realisation about my past relationships, i used to think of the men and get very bitter and twisted about the whole thing. But the other day i found some pictures of when we were in love and i just learned to appreciate the time we had together that was blissful.
I have been single for ages now but its alright because i know im holding out for something very special.

I was born in NZ and I met my first love there at 16. All I wanted was a long-term boyfriend, or so I thought. In hindsight, I was in love with being in love, not my boyfriend who was soooo not my type. I wished I had seen that I was worth so much more and deserved better. We married when I was 22. Three months after the wedding I realised I had done the wrong thing. I saw the rest of my life ahead of me and was so scared of what I saw. I was married to a man who drove trucks and stayed away from home 5 nights a week. We lived in a remote country area and my whole friend/family support was 45 minutes away. For so long I ate to fill up a hole that never filled up. I was 95 kilos. So at 7 months I left. Much to the disapproval of my family, my friends and him of course. I left NZ leaving everything to him, I`d bought a one-way ticket to the Gold Coast where my very supportive brother lived and I had $100 to my name. I never looked back. I had sacrificed so much for this man who ignored my loneliness. I`d given up going to university, I`d given up my social life, for what? So I played up in large proportions on the Gold Coast for 3 years and in that time rediscovered who I was and what I wanted for my life. I also went from 95 kilos to 50 kilos. There was a very petite woman underneath all that fat. I returned home to see my family and friends and finally proved to them that I had made the right decision. That was fun. I now live in Melbourne and have been with my man for 6 years and we have a beautiful 22 month old son. We`re not married or engaged. One day we will but I have learnt that life is full of situations you think are the ones you want to stay forever but you get older and your ideas and morals change. Life is also full of wonderful milestones that we want to happen now. But wait, spread them out, be content, enjoy the suspense, be happy to let them come in their own time and just enjoy the ride. So sometimes the love of your life is just the love of a stage in your life. It`s hard to lose them but it`s harder when you lose yourself to keep them xx

I think your first love is always the hardest to get over, you have so many expectations & hopes & it can be very hard & hurtful when things & someone doesn`t turn out how you imagined. Plus when you experience your first love you`re usually quite young & inexperienced about the world & situations & people. I hope things are better (or getting better) for you now BB & it`s great that you have friends to support you, cos having good friends is what helps so much, no matter what guy you`re with they`ll always be around.

True it is hard to get over your first love .I went out with my friends like they say nothing better than having your friends for support.Good luck BB.