We all get stuck in a sex rut from time to time. Whether it’s getting repetitive or you just aren’t feeling particularly sensual, great sex (you know, the kind that leaves you wanting to do it again and again) can sometimes seem like a tall order. The good news is, you don’t have to go to great lengths to make your bedroom time better.
Here, sex expert Dr Nikki Goldstein shares some simple tips for spicing up your sex life…
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#1 Try being on top
Do you think being on top is too bold? You’re not alone. According to Dr Goldstein, “a lot of women prefer to be submissive” in the bedroom – but being on top “doesn’t mean you’ve actually assumed control”. After all, it takes two to tango. Power play aside, you may also be worried about how you look from this position. But in reality, our expert says “you don’t look that pretty” from any angle during sex. So don’t let your wobbly belly or bobbing breasts (which he loves, by the way) get in the way of your pleasure.
#2 Use the right toy
While experimenting with sex toys can be lots of fun, Nikki says it’s “important to consider what you’re using and why you’re using it”. Zoning in on the aim of the tool – clitoral stimulation, for example – is essential in order to find out whether it’s the right one for you. We Vibe’s Moxie, for example, is especially designed to fit in between the labia and provide direct and intense constant stimulation, while Svakom ‘s Emma is an all-over body massager. According to Dr Goldstein, “it comes down to how you function” as a couple and knowing the purpose your new toy needs to serve.
Using protection is a must to prevent unwanted pregnancy and STIs, but instead of viewing them as a necessary nuisance, Dr Goldstein suggests “having fun with them”. From ribbing to glow-in-the-dark varieties, there are plenty of exciting condoms around. For even more fun (and a bit of a challenge), our expert recommends trying to “learn how to put one on using your mouth”.
#3 Make safe sex sexy
#4 Enjoy foreplay
Except, don’t call it ‘foreplay’. According to Dr Goldstein, “this makes it seem goal orientated” – and one of the biggest barriers to sexual pleasure. It’s not all about the ‘big O’, so think of it as ‘sexy play’ instead (which, let’s be honest, sounds way better). A great way to build sexual tension is with a massage. Use a sensuous-smelling body oil such as Weleda Arnica Massage Oil (which is formulated to warm up the muscles, preparing them for ‘high-energy performance’) or pjur Original (which is gentle enough to use on more intimate areas).
#5 Laugh more
Having a giggle might seem impossible with everything else going on, but laughter leads to a better time between the sheets. Dr Goldstein explains it “increases heart rate and blood flow – much like sex”, so it’s in your best interest to loosen up. Embarrassing things are bound to happen in the bedroom (fanny farts, anyone?), but seeing the funny side may turn your blunders into turn-ons.
#6 Get your sexy on
Fact: feeling sexy is conducive to having a spicier experience in the bedroom. To help you banish your body woes, check out our tips on how to look (and feel) sexy naked – they’ll make you feel amazing, so you can focus on actually enjoying yourself (without any niggling thoughts about things like body hair or cellulite). When it comes to attire, Dr Goldstein says not to “focus on what they like”. Instead, think about what you feel sexiest wearing – and if it ain’t a lacy negligee, so be it.
Main image: Fox
*This article has been updated since its original publication.
Do you have any good tips for spicing up your sex life?