When we talk about pregnancy, morning sickness, strange cravings and swollen ankles spring to mind, but as any mum-to-be will tell you, those symptoms are child’s play when it comes to what you’ll really have to deal with. And since we had so much fun sharing the not-so-pretty side of giving birth, let’s explore the less glamorous moments of pregnancy…
You might sport facial hair
Okay, so you’re unlikely to rock a full beard, but facial hair growth is a very real pregnancy symptom. You can blame those raging hormones, since they cause hair to grow at super-fast speeds, and sometimes, in new (and embarrassing) places. At the end of the day, a few rogue hairs are a small price to pay for a baby, so buy a home waxing kit and remember: it’ll all be over soon.
bh loves:Nad’s Facial Wax Strips, Marzena Facial Wax Strips, Veet High Precision Facial Wax & Care
You’ll drool. Often
During those nine months, it’s pretty common to produce more saliva than usual, so brace yourself for soggy pillows. Get used to brushing your chompers and swishing minty mouthwash on the reg, and try chewing gum. And if you didn’t snore before, you most certainly will now!
You may leak a little
Your bub is resting on a fair few internal organs, including your bladder, so you may pee a bit. It’s natural! Coughing, sneezing and laughing are the main culprits, but it’s nothing a pad or panty liner can’t fix.
You’ll get used to aching
Everything will hurt. Your head, boobs, back, belly, feet and even your teeth will make themselves known, and if they don’t, you’re most definitely superwoman. Growing a brand new person is hard work and it definitely takes a toll on your body, so go easy on yourself when those leg cramps kick in. Our suggestion? Draw a long, relaxing bubble bath.
bh loves:L’OCCITANE Relaxing Bath Salts, Lush Avobath, Jo Malone Bath Oil
You’ll become a tooter
There’s no use in trying to hide your glorious transcendence into gassiness. The truth is, you will fart. A lot. And you may experience serious gas pains, so if that happens, lay off the greasy foods, since they’ll only add to your woes. Other than that, all you can do is grin and bear it – and hope your partner doesn’t mind the occasional toot.
You’ll burp like a teenage boy
Burping is just another one of those incredibly ladylike side effects of pregnancy. Oh, the joys. Just steer clear of things with a lot of fizz, and keep telling yourself that you have the best excuse in the world. Go girl!
Your vagina will grow
Everyone knows about swollen hands and feet, and the fact that your boobs enter a room minutes before you do, but no one tells you that your genitals will swell. Think about it: your vagina is bearing the brunt of all that extra blood your body is producing for your bub, so it makes sense that it ends up feeling tender and sore.
You’ll get a case of ‘baby brain’
Expect to do any or all of the following at some point in your pregnancy: cry over commercials; experience emotional highs and lows; leave your car keys in the freezer; yell at staff in Woolies when they’re out of your favourite yoghurt; and forget where you’re going and how to spell your own name. But don’t panic, as this pregnancy-induced fog is due to fluctuations in your hormones, as well as tiny movements by the foetus, which means you’re only temporarily insane.
Did you experience any of these side effects during your pregnancy? Have we missed anything?