Is it okay to holiday without your kids?

Everyone is different, which means that ultimately, we’re all going to be different kinds of parents, too. Some things that you find okay, may not sit so well with others. The trick is to decide what you’re comfortable with and accept how other parents raise their children.
That wasn’t the case on a recent radio show, where there was a heated debate brewing about whether or not it’s okay to travel without your children. Neither side could comprehend the other’s view on the matter and it made for some pretty spectacular radio.
So I took to the beautyheaven mums, in the attempt to discover what the general view was among women I know and work with…
bh’s Jackie says: Yes, it’s essential! (Jackie has four kids, aged between 11-22)
“Is it OK to travel with your partner and leave your kids at home? Of course it is! In fact it’s more than OK - it is ESSENTIAL for a happy, healthy relationship. I highly recommend couples with children do this at least once a year and preferably twice or three times to make sure you re-connect and remember why you fell in love and decided to have those little treasures in the first place. It is really easy to forget sometimes!”
bh’s Tara says: No, not really (Tara has one daughter, aged two)
“It depends on how long the holiday. A weekend away with no kids? Absolutely! A 10-day holiday to Thailand sans kids? I would totally judge. I figure as a parent you are allowed a bit of time out (two or three days) but other than that I subscribe to the theory that "you brought them into the world, so it's your responsibility to look after them" so if you're going on holiday, then you're ALL going on holiday.
But this is mainly referring to young kids. I figure once they hit their teens, they won't want to go on holiday with you anyway.”
bh’s Di says: Yes! (Di has two children, aged 18-21)
“I think it is A-OK and have done so on a few occasions. It can be annoying because you have quite a lot to organise before you go, like making sure your kids have all they need for school, if they’ll be staying with someone else.
Though there’s an element of planning, I do think it’s worth it in the end for the benefit of your relationship with your partner. Kids think it’s exciting to have a change to their routine too - and presents from mum and dad when they get back from the holiday don’t hurt either.”
bh’s Laura says: No, not yet (Laura has one daughter, aged 10 weeks)
“I think it depends a lot on how old the children are. At the moment I've not been separated from my daughter for longer than three hours and I just cannot imagine being apart from her even overnight.
This is partly necessity, partly because I'd miss her (she is only 10 weeks old though!) I can understand parents of older children wanting a break, but personally I wouldn't want to go away for more than a couple of nights without her because holidays to me are family time and family holidays are some of the most enduring memories I have of my childhood so I wouldn't want her to miss out.”
bh’s Janet says: Yes, with conditions (Janet has one son, aged 11)
“As long as you know the child/children are staying with people they like, I think both the parents and the children enjoy the break from each other!”
bh’s Kym says: yes and no (Kym has two sons, aged 11-17)
“Ideally I’d prefer to go on holidays without my kids - eek!
I'm not sure whether that's politically correct to say but hey, I'm a single mum who works full time and have two boys to look after five days a week. The peace would be well-received and deserved, don't you think?
But on the other hand it is still lovely to go away with my boys, getting away from the day-to-day boring tasks and chilling out together is very special. I'd love to be able to take them overseas and create long-term memories and I feel it's really valuable to introduce them to different cultures - budget permitting!”
What do you think? Would you travel without your kids? Who's comment do you agree with most?
67 Member Comments
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I absolutely wouldn't consider going anywhere without my kids but that's just me and I absolutely wouldn't judge anyone for holidaying without their kids
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Yes of course it is! Parents deserve to have breaks
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I think it's fine, otherwise it won't be much of a holiday for mum! I'm of the opinion that if you need a holiday, you need to actually have a break from being a mum, even for a few days. People take holidays from work, being a parent is a full time job too and sometimes we need to wind down without the responsibility of children for a while.
On that note, I STILL haven't had my break because my partner feels the opposite way to me (sigh!).
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yes why not if you know they are in good hands!
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I think leaving them behind when they're still in early teens can be a little cruel.
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it really depends on their ages and habits!
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Toddlers probably won't remember the holiday anyway. If it's a road trip then you may as well take them, but if you want to visit Europe it's a waste - save it for when they are 10 or 12 and will actually be able to form memories and appreciate the art and culture. As an expat child my parents took us all over the world and many places I may as well have not gone, because I barely remember any of them.
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i have no one to look after my kiddies, so they come with us
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I would have a terrible time because I would miss my kids.
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I think it depends on ages, number of kids and the kids' personalities. When I was 8, my brother 6 and my sister 1, my parents went on a month long holiday overseas to a country that wasn't safe for kids that they'd waited all their life to go to. I don't feel they neglected us at all. We stayed with our grandparents who took us to school and all our activities and we had the time of our lives! We had holidays with our parents including two six week long ones, one when I was 6 and another when I was 12. And most school holidays we went camping for at least a few days. My parents deserved their kid-free holiday and my brother and I saw it as a holiday with our grandparents rather than my parents going on holiday without us. As for myself, being married to an abuser for years, I never got holidays (with or without child) and after we separated, money was too tight. When my daughter was 9, I had to go interstate for my best friend's wedding and decided I'd take some unpaid time off work and take my daughter on a driving trip. Since I was engaged by then and my fiance also lived in yet another state, I was able to visit him too and after that, every 6 months I'd take my daughter away on a driving trip because it was cheaper than flights for us. I think twice I got away for a long weekend to visit my fiancee, purely because my daughter was forced by the family court to spend that time with her abusive father anyway and there was no point me sitting around moping at home. But last year when she was 11, I decided she was big enough to travel without her. All those people who say any long than a weekend and it should be afamily vacation don't take into account people's individual situation. For us, last year was our honeymoon. It is so not appropriate to take a child on a honeymoon, and a honeymoon is a special bonding time for newlyweds that simply going away for a night or two doesn't cut it. My daughter adored the time while we were gone, one week with her grandparents, one weekw ith her stepgrandparents and we were able to skype her every day. There are definitely situations where you can leave your kids behind.
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i think it depends on the ages and number of kids
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i think it really depends on personal situations and ofcourse age of the kids needs to be considered
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I remember when I was in Primary school one of my friend's parents went on holiday without them - although they told their parents they were fine they were very upset about it and felt they weren't wanted. A romantic weekend getaway - sure leave the kids behind. But any longer and it's a family vacation - whether you want it to be or not.
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Of course it's ok!
To be a great parent you need to be a happy, healthy and 'whole' person. A happy family needs a strong foundation and time away with your partner is ESSENTIAL.
It is important to nourish and strengthen your romantic relationship so you can be a happier, healthier and stronger parent.
Anyone who would judge a couple for leaving their kids at home for a week needs to remember that opinions are like a***holes- everyone has one!
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Interesting read. I think mostly it depends on the kids age.
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I think that once they are old enough to spend a day apart from you without being upset - probably 3 or 4- then it's definitely ok to take a few days break without them. I think you need it for your relationship with your partner and mental health. As much as kids are lovely, they are a full time job and a bit of time out for them and you won't hurt.
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If the grandparents have been asking to have them for a holiday, especially if they are long distance and both parties pine for each other, it is a golden opportunity to do so. I know a family who actually did this, took the children to their destination themselves, and all of them had a wow of a time. In fact the children were in no hurry to go home when the parents arrived back in ...... They may have been a little spoilt but certainly had to use their manners...and do as requested....as their parents were told when they got back (which the parents had secretly hoped would happen).
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I think it's ok for the most part but there are some individual personal situations which are not acceptable. I have only ever done it once for about a week and my son was a toddler at the time. It wasn't really much of a holiday because we were going interstate for my grandfathers funeral, so I thought that was more than acceptable to go without the kids.
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I don't have children, but if I did, I'd go with Jackie's opinion. I think a healthy marriage is essential for happy children. Parents need alone time so that they can reconnect and work on their marriage if necessary.
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At the moment no because my daughter is only 2 and I wouldn't like to leave her longer than one night and that would even be with her grandparents. It think it would stress us both out too much to be able to enjoy ourselves. Besides I think as a family we would still have just as much fun if not more. When she is older yes, I think we are definitely going to need a good holiday, just the 2 of us! :)
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I dont have kids yet, but my parents used to go away once a year for a few days from when me and my sister were in primary school. I dont doubt that time away was important for their relationship, but for and me sister it was such a novelty having nan coming to stay, and of course having mum and dad bring gifts home! Its definitely something I wont hesitate to do when I have kids, and when they are old enough.
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YES! I think it's important for couples to spend some "alone time" together. I'm not saying run off to Europe for months but a few days or a week of romance and relaxation would do wonders for a couple <3
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I don't have kids so I can't really say anything from the viewpoint of a parent. I think if the kids are of a certain age and are being cared for people that you trust and are close friends with then it's alright, but I think that the holiday should be a week max.
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