Sex is supposed to be one of life’s greatest pleasures, so why then do so many of us rush it, time and time again?
Some of us experience physical discomfort if we persist for too long, others are strapped for time, and perhaps saddest of all, many of us simply aren’t feeling as excited by the prospect as we once were.
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The good news is, it’s never too late to better our sex lives. There are lots of ways to last longer during sex, naturally – so follow these tips to prolong the pleasure factor, for a more fulfilling and most importantly, fun sexual experience…
1. Make time for foreplay
As sex expert Dr Nikki Goldstein explains, having sex at top speed can make the act “seem goal-orientated”, which isn’t exactly a huge turn-on. On the flipside, slowing things down can lead to you feeling more turned on, not to mention strengthen the emotional bond between you and your sexual partner. So plan ahead and give yourself as much time as possible to engage in foreplay, before you do the deed.
2. Try different condoms
Condoms are essential for safe sex, but they can do a lot more than prevent pregnancy and STIs. Some are made of super-fine latex designed to provide a greater sense of feeling and enhance sensitivity, while others feature ribs and raised dots to create clitoral stimulation. Do yourself a favour and forego the regular condoms next time you’re stocking up (and reap the pleasure rewards!).
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3. Use lubricant
One of the greatest barriers to lasting longer in bed is vaginal dryness, a symptom that close to one in every three women experiences during menopause. Thankfully, there are plenty of lubricants and internal hydrating gels available to help reduce the friction and discomfort, and heighten your sexual pleasure. Just bear in mind that if you’re using latex condoms, you’ll need to choose a water- or silicone-based product, as opposed to an oil-based one.
4. Try a new position
As Dr Harry Fisch writes in his book, The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grownups, trying a new sex position is a great way to switch things up with your partner, and prevent you from climaxing too early. The more awkward, the better – Dr Goldstein says laughter “increases heart rate and blood flow – much like sex”, which leads to a better time between the sheets. Kama Sutra, here we come.
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5. Introduce a sex toy
In the same way that trying a new position can lead to prolonged pleasure, learning how to use a sex toy can provide a welcome distraction from your same-old sexual routine. For beginners, an all-over body massager is a good device to start with and can be used to pleasure both parties in more ways than just the obvious. Feeling more adventurous? Don’t be afraid to experiment with a more exotic adult toy. Hint hint: It’ll make a rather racy Christmas present!
6. Strengthen your pelvic floor
Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles with kegel exercises can lead to increased sexual sensation, making sex more pleasurable for you and your partner. Oh, and it won’t just increase your sexual prowess – it’ll also improve your bladder and bowel control (#winning). To strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, squeeze them for three seconds, then relax. Repeat 10 to 15 times, and add an extra second each week until you’re able to hold for 15 seconds.
7. Get more exercise
Getting fit and healthy can make a huge difference to the quality of your sex life. Not only will you be likelier to want to have sex more often, you’ll also have the stamina to go for longer than just the average 10 minutes. The same applies to him – which means both of you have a new motivation to get to the gym!
Are you content with your sex life, or can you think of ways to make it better? Do you have any other tips for lasting longer during sex?