Need help! Improving libido over 40

Hi Guys,
Ive never posted here before and I am actually really embarrassed but I need some advice. I can’t talk to my close friends about this because I don’t think they’d treat it as a joke. I hope it is okay to post this here. I just have no one to turn to.
My hubby and I have been married for 12 years and together for 20. We used to have an incredible sex life but over the last 6 or 7 years it has dwindled to nothing. We adore each other still and have so much fun together and we are the best of friends. But our sex life is zero. We both seem to have no libido (he used to smoke pot heavily for many years)but recently for me, it is coming back. I want us to get back to what we used to be, even just a little bit. But I have no confidence left. Ive gained a bit of weight too (which I am working on losing)
Anyway sorry for the long story but I either need to change things or just continue to watch Peaky Blinders and fantasize about Cillian Murphy!

18 comments 6 voices

Replies

S-P
2 yrs, 6 mths ago
I’d suggest exercising together. It’s good for both physical and mental wellbeing, and the healthier you both become, the more likely you’ll want to resume your sex life. 😉

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PGrl
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
Wow well thanks to those members who actually tried to help me. I am not a spammer and have not mentioned a product or anything for goodness sakes
I just thought that there might be some others out there who had been through similar and could offer a different pov. I realize it is not a beauty related post but I have seen Beautyheaven has had articles on sexual health on occasion. As I mentioned I cant talk to my friends about this and I thought Id give it a shot with some open minded people. Sorry

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Lucy16
2 yrs, 6 mths ago
Actually, a healthy sex life is beauty related. It’s where we get our inner glow! You don’t sound or write like a spammer!

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Misfortune8
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
Yes, & when laramarry spammed on your thread, it looked like the regular tag-team tactic that we`ve all seen so often. See – even your thread has been targeted by spammers! – it didn`t take long!

Oh, & while I`m at it …

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Lisa359
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
As already mentioned, we have been getting a lot of spammers on this site lately. I know sexual health and satisfaction are important, and Beautyheaven have published articles relating to these. But honestly we don`t have lots of chit chat on the forums about this subject. What we do get is many newer members promoting products for erectile disfunction and low libido, it won`t take much looking around to find these comments usually with links to other websites. These are marked as spam and eventually BH removes them.

I`m certainly no expert, but I do think going to a doctor is your best option, even if you attend an appointment without your husband I think you may get some advice and references that can help you move forward in your marriage . Good luck.

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Misfortune8
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
PGirl: we regular forumites see literally DOZENS of new spam threads spruiking erectile dysfunction drugs every week. We also often see a tag-team type of spam where one spammer posing as a new member asks a question, only to be answered shortly afterwards by their spamming partner. So, that`s why we were cynical. Really, we`re plagued by a LOT of spam on this forum! Please don`t let this experience scare you off the forum or Bh in general.

Members often ask non-beauty related questions, & that`s OK. As others have said, this is a matter where you need professional advice. I know this is a personal issue, so an impersonal forum can be a good option to get others` points of view. I think it`s sad that you reckon your friends would treat this as a joke if you asked them. I honestly wish you the best of luck & hope to see you around here in future.

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Petal
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
When I saw the original post on this thread, I thought that it was spam so I did not respond. If the post is from a genuine member (which I doubt), I feel like they should be seeking assistance from a trained professional. I don’t think that it is a coincidence that laramarry spammed this thread about an erectile dysfunction product.

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Lisa359
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
laramarry is promoting erectile disfunction products on her profile page as well. First it was just forum posts, now it`s articles, about me, and even the odd review as well. It`s like Covid!

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Misfortune8
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
I`m still sceptical, too. A trained professional would be best.

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Lisa359
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
Maybe you could speak to a doctor about this?

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Misfortune8
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
I`ve reported laramarry above as spam.

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Lisa359
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
A spam tag-team , Unfortunately you were right 🙁

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Misfortune8
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
To be honest Lisa, I`m not 100% convinced that PGrl is a spammer. She joined Bh on 20/5/17 & wrote one review & made one article comment on that date. She also wrote a 2nd review a few minutes after posting this thread. They appear genuine, so I`ll continue to give her the benefit of the doubt. I don`t want to risk chasing away a genuine member reaching out for advice.

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Lisa359
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
It`s just so hard to tell, Especially when they want to ask for advice about things that are not related to beauty products. I don`t want new members to feel unwelcome either.

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Misfortune8
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
I agree, Lisa!

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Misfortune8
2 yrs, 9 mths ago
PGrl: your post looks a lot like much of the spam we get on the forum spruiking online drugs for erectile dysfunction, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

You need to communicate with hubby – there’s no way around it.

Good luck, PGrl!

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