I had to Google this. It’s similar to PMS, but PMDD is more severe.
Back in my menstruating years, I used to swing between nearly homicidal rage & suicidal depression in the few days before my period. Doctors back then told me it was PMS. It lessened as I got older & as I learnt to manage it better. (Hallelujah for menopause!)
I’d have crying fits where I felt like going on living was hopeless. Then, I’d scream abuse at strangers who might have bumped into me accidentally or made a stupid but trivial mistake. When my period came, I was always ashamed at the things I’d said or done in the previous few days.
For me, every time it happened, it would get worse until I realised that I was premenstrual. The realisation that it was all my impending period came as a HUGE relief. It was a lightbulb moment: NO, people aren’t really out to get me; NO, life isn’t hopeless; NO, it’s not always like this, it’s “just” my period making me a little crazy, but I’ll be my usual self in a couple of days.
I’d still feel the anger. In a crisis situation, I’d want to tell someone off, but my internal voice would urge me to bite my tongue. I’d remind myself how ashamed I’d feel in a few days IF I let rip & said what I wanted to say. Every month when my period came & I was back in my right mind, I’d reflect on the previous few days & the near-misses I’d had. This reflection afterwards & the gratitude that I’d shut up made it easier for me to talk myself into shutting up next month when the anger flared again. This mindfulness takes practice & maturity, but it’s what got me through.
