12 yrs, 5 mths ago

mummys lil boy!

Im having trouble with my 15 month old baby boy, i cant go anywhere without him getting so emtional! Real tears and lots of buggies!

I dont work im a stay at home mummy, but when i go somewhere he gets hysterical even with his daddy and big brother. He cant see me go dad has the take him out the back, he will then be ok for 20 mins then sit on the floor and be uncontrolable!
Its great to feel the love, but sad to see him so upset when i come home. Nothing my hubby can do will calm him down, i usally have to come home.

Any of you ladies been through this??

15 comments 32 voices

Replies

  • 12 yrs, 5 mths ago

    I’m sure we will all work it out together somehow. We have just moved to a country town due to my hubby get a new job, so I don’t have the advantages of my family having him for a couple of hours. He will just have to hang out with daddy and his big bro while mummy goes out to the shops or run etc. I’m sure he will get use to it but I think it will take a while, he just Is a real mummy s boy!

    I totally understand you there, I had nobody around to help out or give me a break either when my kids were bubs so we just had to stick it out, eventually it all worked out fine and things were normal again 🙂

  • 12 yrs, 5 mths ago

    My daughter was very clingy. I think it was due to the fact that she was with me all the time and we would see outside family on the odd occassion, mothers group occassionally and other people on rare events. When she one I decided to join a gym. The selling point was the fact that they had a creche. For the first couple of weeks she would cry non-stop and it was heartbreaking leaving her there. I was thinking I’d have to cancel my membership. Anyway I continued bravely for about a month and then suddenly she become a new child. She made new friends and became quite fond of the lady in the creche. With my son who is nine months he has now been to the gym creche since he was very young and he is completely opposite to how my daughter was. So from my experience having little ones used to different people other than mummy and daddy makes them less clingy. I’m lucky that I’m close to my neighbours as well so my kids can be left with them for a few minutes if I need to duck down to the shops for a few minutes to buy milk or something. Children change and go through phases.

  • 12 yrs, 5 mths ago

    i hope it all works out Kylie. I am just sitting here, thinking, am i going to go through this with my soon-to-be son?! lol

  • 12 yrs, 5 mths ago

    I’m sure we will all work it out together somehow. We have just moved to a country town due to my hubby get a new job, so I don’t have the advantages of my family having him for a couple of hours. He will just have to hang out with daddy and his big bro while mummy goes out to the shops or run etc. I’m sure he will get use to it but I think it will take a while, he just Is a real mummy s boy!

  • 12 yrs, 5 mths ago

    i was really lucky with my oldest boy. he was very much like BS’s little one.
    it would annoy me seeing how clingy the other kids were at playgroup, just irritated me for some reason. I did make a point though of making sure he spent time with other people ie: nanna, poppy, daddy etc even whilst i was still there.
    so for example, instead of me being the one to feed him, i’d get daddy to do it whilst i ran the bath or cut up vegies. he got that separation thing when i sent him to day care 1 day a week but i think that was more emotional blackmail. poor kid, didn’t work! he kept on going, lol.
    i’m trying the same approach with my 7 month old. i get others to help out as much as possible. if friends come over i palm him off to them for cuddles ASAP. he got a bit funny for the first day nanny and poppy had him when he was 4 months old and i had to go away. he played up big style but was fine the next day. although my name was MUD with him for 2 days after i got back, but in all he’s very comfy and rancho relaxo.
    maybe start palming them to friends as much as you can, but whilst you are still there, so they have comfort with someone else but also comfort knowing you are within reach, then slowly slowly see how it progresses.

    Also don’t be too hard on them either. it’s hard on you because sometimes you just need 5 mins but they’re so little and you are their world. they do grow up and you will miss it………….one day. lol

    goodluck.

  • 12 yrs, 5 mths ago

    I went through this when my boy started daycare at 15 momths and use to rmember leaving him there of a morning and feeling like a real dog for it, lol. But we just persisted and after about two weeks it was all good where he would wave me goodbye etc and then a few months later he was moved into the next level group and we went through it all over again, lol, same as the previous time though as soon as he got use to the change he was fine. As expected when he got moved into the third level tears and tantys etc and back to being perfectly happy now. Next year he will be starting prep so I am wondering what will go down, eek, but I have come to realise it is all perfectly natural and nothing to be too concerned about, as long as they don’t scream and cry all day after you leave them I think it is just more of an attention thing or them being a bit uncertain about the change. Hope you get through this milestone without too many hjccups, but no doubt once you get through it something else will be of concern, lol, it’s the joy we face as mothers, especially when we are first time mothers. It is all so much easier with the second child as you can say you have already been there done that 😉

  • 12 yrs, 5 mths ago

    One thing we have found with isaac is that he loves going out. So it doesn’t matter if it is me or my husband that leaves the appartment, he will have a meltdown if he is left behind. The exception is when hubby goes to work – isaac seems to know that when he has his suit on that means he is leaving – its his bye bye suit. As soon as hubby is dressed in the morning isaac starts saying bye bye…but he doesnt do that on the weekend when he is in his civies!

    But the meltdown only last a minute and then he is fine. We find distraction works best – when he is flipping out we take him out side to play with his balls (not those ones!) or we give him magooki – his sookie rug/best friend. If its anyhting like what we went through, this clingy stage is fairly full on but then they eventually trust that you will be back.

    If you can leave him with another mother from mothers group for 30 mins or so to have a playdate with their child, that might distract him enough to not flip out. Or maybe if you take their kid first and have a play date and he sees its ok then swap and give her Kade that might work. I have one particular mum from mothers group and we’ll often look after each others kids and they have an absolute blast!

  • 12 yrs, 5 mths ago

    We totally avoided the 9 month clingy phase with Isaac. I remember being at mothers group and all the other babies were clinging on to their mums for dear life whilst Isaac acted like he would happily go home with whoever picked him up…he’d seriously flirt with every person who looked at him. Then at 15 months we went through a clingy with a vengence phase. That was around the time i started putting him in daycare 1 day a week so I dont know whether that was the issue or if it was a co-incidence. It took about 3 months for the phase to pass. He still balls his eyes out each time i drop him off but they tell me within 2 minutes he’s fine. I usually give him his dummy when i go and they say that after about 10 mins he will hand it to one of the staff.

    I have no tips on how to get through this phase but just to say (hopefully) it will pass. Isaac still follows me around the house the whole day, so theres no toilet or shower privacy but he will happily let other people hold him whereas when he was in the midst of his clingy phase he’s be doing anything to get out of their arms and come back to me.

    Is your son walking? Isaac didnt walk until 16 months so I dont know if he suddenly found the world really overwhelming or it scared him if I left he couldnt chase me down…who knows what goes through their minds!

    Theres a baby’s book called the wonder weeks (http://www.bookdepository.com/Wonder-Weeks-Hetty-van-de-Rijt/9789079208043) which i have found really helpful. the gu who wrote it was a scientist who sudied chimps and other animals and discovered that they all go through predictable behavioural issues when they are going through a phase of mental development. He then interviewed 2000 parents of babies and got them to keep diaries of their bubs behaviour and discovered that humans also do the same thing – that babies have 10 mental leaps and each time they go through one they become clingy, crying, cranky because they are suddenly becoming more aware of the world and it scares them. the book gives you ideas when tehy will be going through these leaps and how to assist them through it.

    thanks for that beautystar. yes kade is walking he was walking at 10 months!!! im just going to have to start going on little trips without out him and see how he goes :/ He has to get used to it sometime, i hope! :))

  • 12 yrs, 5 mths ago

    We totally avoided the 9 month clingy phase with Isaac. I remember being at mothers group and all the other babies were clinging on to their mums for dear life whilst Isaac acted like he would happily go home with whoever picked him up…he’d seriously flirt with every person who looked at him. Then at 15 months we went through a clingy with a vengence phase. That was around the time i started putting him in daycare 1 day a week so I dont know whether that was the issue or if it was a co-incidence. It took about 3 months for the phase to pass. He still balls his eyes out each time i drop him off but they tell me within 2 minutes he’s fine. I usually give him his dummy when i go and they say that after about 10 mins he will hand it to one of the staff.

    I have no tips on how to get through this phase but just to say (hopefully) it will pass. Isaac still follows me around the house the whole day, so theres no toilet or shower privacy but he will happily let other people hold him whereas when he was in the midst of his clingy phase he’s be doing anything to get out of their arms and come back to me.

    Is your son walking? Isaac didnt walk until 16 months so I dont know if he suddenly found the world really overwhelming or it scared him if I left he couldnt chase me down…who knows what goes through their minds!

    Theres a baby’s book called the wonder weeks (http://www.bookdepository.com/Wonder-Weeks-Hetty-van-de-Rijt/9789079208043) which i have found really helpful. the gu who wrote it was a scientist who sudied chimps and other animals and discovered that they all go through predictable behavioural issues when they are going through a phase of mental development. He then interviewed 2000 parents of babies and got them to keep diaries of their bubs behaviour and discovered that humans also do the same thing – that babies have 10 mental leaps and each time they go through one they become clingy, crying, cranky because they are suddenly becoming more aware of the world and it scares them. the book gives you ideas when tehy will be going through these leaps and how to assist them through it.

    Good advice, beautystar – wish I had that book that you recommended back when I needed it!

    My first child had MAJOR separation issues when she was little. I couldn’t leave the room she was in, to go to the kitchen for one minute without her ABSOLUTELY LOSING IT. Had to bring her along when I needed to go to the bog, and the trash had to wait till hubby came home to be taken out.

    I think because she’s the first, we weren’t sure how to handle it, and our anxiety probably made it worse. So try to stay calm (and hubby too), knowing that aside from the wailing, he’ll be alright.

    Whenever the kids go through any phase (and it is almost always a phase), I remind myself that they won’t be like that forever. I mean, you don’t see any 18-year-olds throwing themslves on the floor when they don’t get a lolly, right?

  • 12 yrs, 5 mths ago

    We totally avoided the 9 month clingy phase with Isaac. I remember being at mothers group and all the other babies were clinging on to their mums for dear life whilst Isaac acted like he would happily go home with whoever picked him up…he’d seriously flirt with every person who looked at him. Then at 15 months we went through a clingy with a vengence phase. That was around the time i started putting him in daycare 1 day a week so I dont know whether that was the issue or if it was a co-incidence. It took about 3 months for the phase to pass. He still balls his eyes out each time i drop him off but they tell me within 2 minutes he’s fine. I usually give him his dummy when i go and they say that after about 10 mins he will hand it to one of the staff.

    I have no tips on how to get through this phase but just to say (hopefully) it will pass. Isaac still follows me around the house the whole day, so theres no toilet or shower privacy but he will happily let other people hold him whereas when he was in the midst of his clingy phase he’s be doing anything to get out of their arms and come back to me.

    Is your son walking? Isaac didnt walk until 16 months so I dont know if he suddenly found the world really overwhelming or it scared him if I left he couldnt chase me down…who knows what goes through their minds!

    Theres a baby’s book called the wonder weeks (http://www.bookdepository.com/Wonder-Weeks-Hetty-van-de-Rijt/9789079208043) which i have found really helpful. the gu who wrote it was a scientist who sudied chimps and other animals and discovered that they all go through predictable behavioural issues when they are going through a phase of mental development. He then interviewed 2000 parents of babies and got them to keep diaries of their bubs behaviour and discovered that humans also do the same thing – that babies have 10 mental leaps and each time they go through one they become clingy, crying, cranky because they are suddenly becoming more aware of the world and it scares them. the book gives you ideas when tehy will be going through these leaps and how to assist them through it.

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