7 yrs, 8 mths ago

I can’t live without my ex!

How did I get here?
How is it that I feel I can’t live without this person? How is it that I feel like I will die without this person? I have cried like I’ve never cried before. I can’t believe that I feel like I need somone so much that I feel like I will die without him. I know he’s an arse wipe, so why do I feel I desperately need him? Why do I feel is if I cannot make it without him?

15 comments 32 voices

Replies

  • 5 yrs, 10 mths ago

    Sarah Tari tried to conceal a spam post further up on this thread, dated 7 May 2018. I did a Google search and Sarah Tari has spammed other websites. Also, on these same websites, there were similar types of spam with different usernames.

  • 7 yrs, 8 mths ago

    My boyfriend and I split up for altogether four absolutely miserable months but at the time I felt like we were over for good, so I can tell you how I got through it and hopefully you might be able to glean something useful for yourself through this trying time.

    First, I didn’t beg or plead. I simply tried to accept it from the moment he told me he decided we should end things and every day after. Even though you feel compelled to reason with him, you have to respect his decision and get on with your life. Plus you have to be a dignified person and he needs to remember you that way. You don’t want to be remembered as some kind of hysterical banshee. Second, you should never ever designate a person to be the whole reason for living your life. It’s too dangerous and it’s really not worth it. You had a life before he came along and you will after him: this is a fact of life. And no one wants someone who has nothing else going on in their life except their relationship.

    At the time my boyfriend broke up with me, I said my spiel (no begging), just wishing him the best and hoping he knew what he was doing. Then I went underground completely and I never said a word. I deleted him from everything I could think of. I boxed up his things that he gave me and put them away. I deleted his number from my phone but kept it in the box. It was too painful to remove him in any permanent way.

    It was hard the first couple of weeks and it will be for you so try to surround yourself with family or friends during this time. Even after three months I was struggling but I had good days. The longer you stay silent, stay busy, the more clarity you have. It gave me time to reflect whether or not we were actually suitable together in hindsight. You become less emotional about it and view the relationship objectively.

    I also joined Meetups to hang out with people who had similar interests as me, e.g. book clubs, and this really filled up my schedule so I was surprised to find I was thinking of my then ex-boyfriend less and less when I used to not be able to think of anything else at any given moment. I was simply too busy and there was so many new people I had met and new experiences. I met quite a few guys from Meetups but none of them made me feel compelled to jump back into dating let alone another relationship but the more I met and spoke to new guys, the more I let myself believe there were possibilities out there other than my ex and I remember that was a really liberating realisation at the time.

    By the time I reconciled with my boyfriend I had essentially built a new life for myself with new friends, new hobbies and interests, and it didn’t matter as much to me if he wanted to get back together.

    Time is something we never get back so don’t waste it. You’re of course going to be in a lot of pain but try to build something with it. Look at Taylor Swift. Maybe you’re not a fan but she’s been through so many relationships and always manages to make something of them. Also know that this isn’t exclusive to just you. Many people around the world are heartbroken but manage to get back on their feet. You need to view yourself less of a victim here and start aiming to be a survivor. This mentality helped me get through a really dark time in my life. I hope some of it helps you.

  • 7 yrs, 8 mths ago

    thank you!

  • 7 yrs, 8 mths ago

    I reported the previous post by elis as spam. It is the same website’s spam that I reported yesterday, that BH removed.

  • 7 yrs, 8 mths ago

    I reported the post by rmshpk on 31 July as spam. Please do not click on suspicious links.

  • 7 yrs, 8 mths ago

    Thank you ladies! I feel your support. I’m better these days!

  • 7 yrs, 8 mths ago

    Cry as much as you need too Anna, it will take time and you will get there. Even though it might not feel like it right now there will come a point where you will hate yourself for wasting all these tears on him but right now you need to let your emotions take you to where they will.
    A break up is never easy especially when some people have such a strong grip on your heart but you will manage to get over him and look back at this moment and realise how far you have come.
    These experiences make us grow and realise how strong we actually can be. It might make you cautious letting someone else in to your heart because you don’t want to ever feel like this again but you will find someone who deserves you and will never want to cause you pain like this.
    This person, who has caused you so much ache may always be on your mind in some way for the rest of your life, you may always have a soft spot for them but my guess will be you will one day see them out and about and think, thank god I didn’t end up with that.
    I know it’s hard to believe but trust me, most of us have had this same situation and I can’t speak for everyone but I know in my life I am much better off without the person who did break my heart.
    There might always be a tiny bit that will never heal but most of it will and you will be able to have happiness.

    Look after yourself ok and take all the time you need to get over him.
    Block him from your social media because seeing what he’s up to will only cause you more sadness and anger. <3

  • 7 yrs, 8 mths ago

    It may feel like that now, but just remember that you were perfectly fine before you met him and you will be again. There is a very good reason relationships end. I’ve been married 20 years this year but had to meet quite a few jerks and cried many tears before I met the one I was meant to be with. Cry, drink, swear but then hold your head up and look forward, not backward. There will be someone better that you haven’t met yet! Oh EDIT: You may need some waterproof mascara in the meantime xxx

  • 7 yrs, 8 mths ago

    Oh Anna I am truly sorry you are going through this right now, I wish I could give you a hug right now. I know the feeling all too well, even breathing feels like it’s hurting. It’s not helpful right now, but you will get through this. Just take one day at a time, and be mindful that every day is closer to being healed and getting over this guy. He doesn’t sound like he is even worth your heart break. Allow yourself to cry as much as you need, but also take time to do what you love.
    (((Hugs)))

  • 7 yrs, 8 mths ago

    I know exactly what you’re going through. Granted, my situation is probably a little different. I was with my boyfriend for just over 9 years. We were living together for the last 12 months, and it was probably about 4 months after we moved in that things started to rear their ugly heads. His issues that he’s suppressed for his whole life were beginning to affect everything. He became such a stressed, angry version of himself. He doesn’t sleep very well at all and hasn’t for some years now, despite my pleading to get help, and would consequentially start to blame me for “waking him” or disturbing him, which was just abhorrent. People need to get ready in the morning! It started to seem like every little thing I did annoyed him to the high heavens, and my inability to get a job in the field I really wanted was messing with his plans, his! Don’t get me wrong, it’s been almost 5 months now since we broke up, and it has been the absolute worst time of my life. I have never been such an emotional wreck, but, I still love him. I know he loved me, but I just don’t see how we can be together again if he doesn’t sort his shit out. It felt like he was trying to blame me for everything that was wrong in HIS life, which is not fair. The worst part about it all? He left me hanging….it’s a break up, but he’s not sure whether he’ll eventually want to get back together or not. So I can’t properly move on. It’s incredibly confusing. But I love him. And I’ve loved him for almost 10 years now. Some friends just don’t understand, but I still hold out a little hope that one day we’ll be happy and have our shit together. It’s just painful that what was once a really wonderful relationship, and we’ve done so much together, just turned into such a mess. So trust me, I feel the heartbreak over here too.

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