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    How to be better friends with your ex (because you know you want to)

    Updated:16 Jan 2020 10:58 AM | Posted by
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    Breakups suck. Anyone who's ever ended a serious relationship — be that ending long-awaited, mutual, drama-filled or out of the blue — knows that saying goodbye to a big part of your life can be difficult.
     
    And the emotional roller coaster of breakups can often mean that you're not always on best of terms with your now-ex, after the dust has settled. Whether there's just too much history, or there's a strange awkwardness between you, maintaining a platonic friendship after dating someone is one of life's biggest mysteries — which is why we don't often do it.
     
    But even though some exes definitely aren't worth the effort, there are lots of fish thrown back into the sea that would be great mates, or were great mates before you dated.
     
    So why shouldn't you reach out? As long as both parties aren't toxic and are both agreeable, it can be a good thing to foster a friendship with someone that you spent a lot of time with.
     
    We caught up with relationship expert and dating coach, Samantha Jayne, to find out the best ways to turn a past love into a present pal.
     
    [Instagram]https://instagram.com/p/BNes-njAvSj/?utm_source=ig_embed[/Instagram]
     
    Why should I be buddies with my old flame?
     
    There are a number of reasons to maintain a relationship with an ex. Whether it's because you simply don't want them to be completely out of your life, or because they're an all-around excellent person, exes aren't all bad.
     
    "There can be benefits to staying friends with your ex, especially if you have a history," Samantha tells us. 
     
    "Maybe you shared a lot of good memories, maybe they are supportive of your goals, maybe you have shared resources such as a home, pet, friendship circle or social network.  
     
    "Rather than starting from scratch you can change the dynamic of the relationship… but only if there are is no sexual attraction. 
     
    "Staying friends with an ex has the benefits of providing you with security, emotional comfort, support and positive emotions," says Samantha. 
     
    "Some people transition into friendship once attraction is gone and some people transition into friendship once they have met someone else. There is no right or wrong. Do what genuinely feels right."
     

     

    Are there reasons I shouldn’t let them back into my life?

    Of course! Not all relationships are created equal, and sometimes relationships were ended for very, very good reasons. If your partner was incompatible, manipulative or abusive, it's not a good idea to get back involved with them — even if it's platonic, and even if it's at their urging. 

    Make sure to think about your relationship and your ex's personality and disposition before reaching out.
     
    "Sometimes staying friends with an ex is purely about avoiding drama. Maybe they haven't let go of you and you are trying to be civil. This is not good in the long run as there is an unresolved attraction and tension," says Samantha. 
     
    "Sometimes people like to move on from the past and remaining friends can be a roadblock to finding someone new — keeping your ex in the background can fill the void of loneliness but will ultimately keep you from getting back out there."
     
    New relationships on either side can be factors, too. "You might have moved on or they have moved on and the new partner is not comfortable with your friendship. This is understandable and should be respected."
     
    Friendships are also best to be avoided if your ex still expresses displays of control over you. "If they obsess over you or want to continue to control you, then they have problems letting go. It's unhealthy to remain friends in these situations because they might try to sabotage your new relationship. So it is best to adopt a zero contact policy."
     
     
    How should I go about bridging the gap between my ex and myself?
     
    1. Have some time apart. Mourn the relationship. Real time apart and completely disengage. No phone, text, social media. This will give you time to heal. You should do this for 3 months minimum — some may need more time. Use this time to focus on your hobbies, work, and living happily.
     
    If you're still unsure if you're ready to reach out as friends, ask yourself "How would I feel if I saw your ex with someone new?" If you still feel pain or become emotional, then you're not ready.
     
    2. Clarify your motives . Identify why you would like to maintain the friendship. Is it healthy for you? Closure, emotional support? Do you still feel attraction? Do they still feel attraction are you genuinely wanting to be friends or is it a power thing?
     
    3. Get in touch with your ex. Be open, tell them how you feel and how you want to remain friends. Be prepared for anything. They could welcome your contact or reject it. If they agree, the best way to go about connecting is to take the pressure off and spend time together as a part of a group.
     
    4. Don't fall back into old patterns. Keep up boundaries. Limit communication — try not to text them daily like you did when you were in a relationship.  Don't put yourself in a position with alcohol, an evening date or go to places where you used to go when you were in love.  Lay down the rules and be strong about them. Don't talk about your relationship. Look forward and be a true friend. No flirting or sex talk. Don't talk about the things that bother you like you would to a partner. This is a whole new dynamic. Most importantly, don't doubt the breakup and stick to your guns.
     
    5. Be genuine about your friendship. Be prepared they may meet someone else. If during your friendship you notice that it ignites your feeling of love and attraction or vice versa, take a step back and time out until those feelings settle, then you can reassess. Be optimistic about your relationship and don't try to compare it to the past.
     
    Go forth and be friendly.

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    alfonsovazquez141 20 Aug 2020 10:40 AM

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    Ericadoyle12 20 Aug 2020 12:12 AM

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    Gomez11 18 Aug 2020 9:45 PM

    My name is Selena Gomez, and I base in USA...My life is back!!! After 1 year of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr.Adeyemi Emma, which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Helen, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr.Adeyemi Emma, e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr.Adeyemi Emma, is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Dr.Adeyemi Emma, anytime, he is the answer to your problems. You can contact him:

    Email: adeyemia192@gmail.com Whatsapp him +2348167872468.

    james adu 18 Aug 2020 7:19 AM

    my Lover broke up with me last week i was so sad I changed completely, I wasn't eating and i wasn't talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I was so depressed and stressed out that I was scared I'm going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever then i found a powerful spell caster Called Dr  Muthuka   that he solved so many relationship problem then Dr  Muthuka   told me he will come back to me between 24hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my lover called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back live happily together forever , Am so happy now that Dr  Muthuka   help me bring my lover back to me. Thanks so much Dr  Muthuka he can also help you Email him muthukaspellhome@gmail.com or whatsapp +233206794908 or call +2349039175109  you can add him up on facebook    https://web.facebook.com/Voodoo-spell-to-bring-back-my-ex-lover-112727803594632/?hc_location=ufi    

    MoncayJeanne 18 Aug 2020 3:11 AM

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    Clara Mat 17 Aug 2020 7:58 PM

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    '

    Clara Mat 17 Aug 2020 7:58 PM

    My name is Clara I am here to make a review about how Dr Charles helped me in fixing my marriage and also to those out there seeking for help and advice on how to save your broken marriage or relationship, few months ago I was having issues with my husband I noticed he has been having an affair with another young lady in his place of work I confronted him but he got angry and say to my face that it’s true, as if that was not enough he went ahead by telling me he doesn’t love me anymore that he wanted a divorce I was to devastated and confused, I pleaded with him that I don’t want a divorce but he insisted,before then I had heard about Dr Charles while browsing on the internet how he use to help people with broken marriages and relationships, I gave it a thought and I decided to contact him, he promise to put a smile on my face again, I followed his instructions and after 3days I was so surprised to see my husband kneeling before me and apologizing for what he had said about the divorce, this is something I never expected, I thank Dr Charle for what he has done for me, now am living happily with my husband and he has stopped seeing the other woman. Please if you are having issues like this I advice you to contact Dr Charles he can help you as well. via: drcharlesspell@gmail.com website: https://drcharlesspell.wixsite.com/drcharles WhatSApp: +2348146708557

    james adu 17 Aug 2020 10:23 AM

    my Lover broke up with me last week i was so sad I changed completely, I wasn't eating and i wasn't talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I was so depressed and stressed out that I was scared I'm going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever then i found a powerful spell caster Called Dr  Muthuka   that he solved so many relationship problem then Dr  Muthuka   told me he will come back to me between 24hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my lover called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back live happily together forever , Am so happy now that Dr  Muthuka   help me bring my lover back to me. Thanks so much Dr  Muthuka he can also help you Email him muthukaspellhome@gmail.com or whatsapp +233206794908 or call +2349039175109  you can add him up on facebook    https://web.facebook.com/Voodoo-spell-to-bring-back-my-ex-lover-112727803594632/?hc_location=ufi    

    james adu 17 Aug 2020 10:20 AM

    my Lover broke up with me last week i was so sad I changed completely, I wasn't eating and i wasn't talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I was so depressed and stressed out that I was scared I'm going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever then i found a powerful spell caster Called Dr  Muthuka   that he solved so many relationship problem then Dr  Muthuka   told me he will come back to me between 24hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my lover called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back live happily together forever , Am so happy now that Dr  Muthuka   help me bring my lover back to me. Thanks so much Dr  Muthuka he can also help you Email him muthukaspellhome@gmail.com or whatsapp +233206794908 or call +2349039175109  you can add him up on facebook    https://web.facebook.com/Voodoo-spell-to-bring-back-my-ex-lover-112727803594632/?hc_location=ufi    

    Gomez11 16 Aug 2020 11:40 PM

    My name is Selena Gomez, and I base in USA...My life is back!!! After 1 year of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr.Adeyemi Emma, which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Helen, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr.Adeyemi Emma, e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr.Adeyemi Emma, is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Dr.Adeyemi Emma, anytime, he is the answer to your problems. You can contact him:

    Email: adeyemia192@gmail.com Whatsapp him +2348167872468.

    Cassandras11 16 Aug 2020 10:52 PM

    Hi viewers, I'm Richard from London. I'm posting this Because i found lots of people having marriage problems which I also experienced. I recently found help from a man called Dr. Nana he did a great job that made my wife fell back in love with me again after seven months of separation. I want you to know there are fake online spell Dr.s if someone out there needs help, can email this great spellcaster, nanakwakuspiritualist@gmail.com check website https://lovespellsite.blogspot.com/ or connect with him on WhatsApp +2349029905501. He will give you the best result.

    helen091 16 Aug 2020 7:37 AM

    I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my ex husband 8 years which lead to our break up. I was not myself again i felt so empty inside me my love and financial situation became worst until a close friend of mine told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is dr abaka. I email the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me before i knew it in less than 2 days my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me i was so happy to have him back to me. The most interesting part of the story is that am pregnant. Thanks to dr abaka for saving my marriage and for also saving others own too. continue your good work If you are interested to email via: drabakaspelltemple@gmail.com or website https://drabakaspelltemple.blogspot.com call/whats app +2349063230051.

    Cassandras11 16 Aug 2020 10:52 PM

    Hi viewers, I'm Richard from London. I'm posting this Because i found lots of people having marriage problems which I also experienced. I recently found help from a man called Dr. Nana he did a great job that made my wife fell back in love with me again after seven months of separation. I want you to know there are fake online spell Dr.s if someone out there needs help, can email this great spellcaster, nanakwakuspiritualist@gmail.com check website https://lovespellsite.blogspot.com/ or connect with him on WhatsApp +2349029905501. He will give you the best result.

    helen091 15 Aug 2020 7:22 PM

    I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my ex husband 8 years which lead to our break up. I was not myself again i felt so empty inside me my love and financial situation became worst until a close friend of mine told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is dr abaka. I email the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me before i knew it in less than 19 hours my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me i was so happy to have him back to me. The most interesting part of the story is that am pregnant. Thanks to dr abaka for saving my marriage and for also saving others own too. continue your good work If you are in need of help email via: drabakaspelltemple@gmail.com/ website https://drabakaspelltemple.blogspot.com or call/whats app +2349063230051.

    LizzyDesler11 15 Aug 2020 1:02 AM

    Testimony By Lizzy Desler. How to get your ex back fast!

    I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore. So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a priest,because it has really worked for him too. So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the priest whom he visited. Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the priest assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a priest. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Priestbacasim, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com or call +2348144258822 / WhatsApp

    helen091 14 Aug 2020 12:52 AM

    Are you looking for a way to get back your relationship if yes help has come your way i got a testimony online about Dr Abaka how he help someone in getting back his wife and i contacted him for help i am so happy that right now my husband is back to me with the help of Dr Abaka if you need help in getting your ex or your relationship back you can contact him he will help you just the same way he help me win my husband back after 2 years of separation contact him today and be happy with your marriage you can email him on drabakaspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on whats-app +2349063230051 or website https://drabakaspelltemple.blogspot.com.Are you looking for a way to get back your relationship if yes help has come your way i got a testimony online about Dr Abaka how he help someone in getting back his wife and i contacted him for help i am so happy that right now my husband is back to me with the help of Dr Abaka if you need help in getting your ex or your relationship back you can contact him he will help you just the same way he help me win my husband back after 2 years of separation contact him today and be happy with your marriage you can email him on drabakaspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on whats-app +2349063230051 or website https://drabakaspelltemple.blogspot.com.

    helen091 14 Aug 2020 12:52 AM

    Are you looking for a way to get back your relationship if yes help has come your way i got a testimony online about Dr Abaka how he help someone in getting back his wife and i contacted him for help i am so happy that right now my husband is back to me with the help of Dr Abaka if you need help in getting your ex or your relationship back you can contact him he will help you just the same way he help me win my husband back after 2 years of separation contact him today and be happy with your marriage you can email him on drabakaspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on whats-app +2349063230051 or website https://drabakaspelltemple.blogspot.com.

    JenniferSanchez 13 Aug 2020 4:39 PM

    SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP ONLINE WITH A TRUSTED AND RELIABLE SPELL CASTER. Email: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com

    My name is Jenny Sanchez and i am very happy to doctor Odunga for helping me get my ex husband back and this made me very excited that i came online here to post about his work. I made a promise to him that if he got my ex husband to me in 2 days, I will make a great testimony and bring many people who need help to him for help. His spiritual temple is in Africa and he has been helping so many people. He is a great spell caster and can help you no matter where you are. My husband Peter is now back with me and this spell caster brought my husband back to me in 2 days, someone who left me for 4 years now. Can you please contact this man? He will help you and you will see. His temple Email is odungaspelltemple@gmail.com

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    JenniferSanchez 13 Aug 2020 4:20 PM

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     My name is Jenny Sanchez and i am very happy to doctor Odunga for helping me get my ex husband back and this made me very excited that i came online here to post about his work. I made a promise to him that if he got my ex husband to me in 2 days, I will make a great testimony and bring many people who need help to him for help. His spiritual temple is in Africa and he has been helping so many people. He is a great spell caster and can help you no matter where you are. My husband Peter is now back with me and this spell caster brought my husband back to me in 2 days, someone who left me for 4 years now. Can you please contact this man? He will help you and you will see. His temple Email is odungaspelltemple@gmail.com

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    Clara Mat 13 Aug 2020 5:50 AM

    My name is Clara I am here to make a review about how Dr Charles helped me in fixing my marriage and also to those out there seeking for help and advice on how to save your broken marriage or relationship, few months ago I was having issues with my husband I noticed he has been having an affair with another young lady in his place of work I confronted him but he got angry and say to my face that it’s true, as if that was not enough he went ahead by telling me he doesn’t love me anymore that he wanted a divorce I was to devastated and confused, I pleaded with him that I don’t want a divorce but he insisted,before then I had heard about Dr Charles while browsing on the internet how he use to help people with broken marriages and relationships, I gave it a thought and I decided to contact him, he promise to put a smile on my face again, I followed his instructions and after 3days I was so surprised to see my husband kneeling before me and apologizing for what he had said about the divorce, this is something I never expected, I thank Dr Charle for what he has done for me, now am living happily with my husband and he has stopped seeing the other woman. Please if you are having issues like this I advice you to contact Dr Charles he can help you as well. via: drcharlesspell@gmail.com website: https://drcharlesspell.wixsite.com/drcharles WhatSApp: +2348146708557

    4

    Clara Mat 13 Aug 2020 5:36 AM

    My name is Clara I am here to make a review about how Dr Charles helped me in fixing my marriage and also to those out there seeking for help and advice on how to save your broken marriage or relationship, few months ago I was having issues with my husband I noticed he has been having an affair with another young lady in his place of work I confronted him but he got angry and say to my face that it’s true, as if that was not enough he went ahead by telling me he doesn’t love me anymore that he wanted a divorce I was to devastated and confused, I pleaded with him that I don’t want a divorce but he insisted,before then I had heard about Dr Charles while browsing on the internet how he use to help people with broken marriages and relationships, I gave it a thought and I decided to contact him, he promise to put a smile on my face again, I followed his instructions and after 3days I was so surprised to see my husband kneeling before me and apologizing for what he had said about the divorce, this is something I never expected, I thank Dr Charle for what he has done for me, now am living happily with my husband and he has stopped seeing the other woman. Please if you are having issues like this I advice you to contact Dr Charles he can help you as well. via: drcharlesspell@gmail.com website: https://drcharlesspell.wixsite.com/drcharles WhatSApp: +2348146708557

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    Clara Mat 13 Aug 2020 5:35 AM

    My name is Clara I am here to make a review about how Dr Charles helped me in fixing my marriage and also to those out there seeking for help and advice on how to save your broken marriage or relationship, few months ago I was having issues with my husband I noticed he has been having an affair with another young lady in his place of work I confronted him but he got angry and say to my face that it’s true, as if that was not enough he went ahead by telling me he doesn’t love me anymore that he wanted a divorce I was to devastated and confused, I pleaded with him that I don’t want a divorce but he insisted,before then I had heard about Dr Charles while browsing on the internet how he use to help people with broken marriages and relationships, I gave it a thought and I decided to contact him, he promise to put a smile on my face again, I followed his instructions and after 3days I was so surprised to see my husband kneeling before me and apologizing for what he had said about the divorce, this is something I never expected, I thank Dr Charle for what he has done for me, now am living happily with my husband and he has stopped seeing the other woman. Please if you are having issues like this I advice you to contact Dr Charles he can help you as well. via: drcharlesspell@gmail.com website: https://drcharlesspell.wixsite.com/drcharles WhatSApp: +2348146708557

    LizzyDesler11 13 Aug 2020 2:46 AM

    A reliable spell caster that helped me restore my marriage, you can contact him via his email pristbacasim2000@gmail.com

    Cassandras11 12 Aug 2020 5:49 PM

    Hi viewers, I'm Richard from London. I'm posting this Because i found lots of people having marriage problems which I also experienced. I recently found help from a man called Dr. Nana he did a great job that made my wife fell back in love with me again after seven months of separation. I want you to know there are fake online spell Dr.s if someone out there needs help, can email this great spellcaster, nanakwakuspiritualist@gmail.com check website https://lovespellsite.blogspot.com/ or connect with him on WhatsApp +2349029905501. He will give you the best result.

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