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    How to be better friends with your ex (because you know you want to)

    Updated:16 Jan 2020 10:58 AM | Posted by
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    Breakups suck. Anyone who's ever ended a serious relationship — be that ending long-awaited, mutual, drama-filled or out of the blue — knows that saying goodbye to a big part of your life can be difficult.
     
    And the emotional roller coaster of breakups can often mean that you're not always on best of terms with your now-ex, after the dust has settled. Whether there's just too much history, or there's a strange awkwardness between you, maintaining a platonic friendship after dating someone is one of life's biggest mysteries — which is why we don't often do it.
     
    But even though some exes definitely aren't worth the effort, there are lots of fish thrown back into the sea that would be great mates, or were great mates before you dated.
     
    So why shouldn't you reach out? As long as both parties aren't toxic and are both agreeable, it can be a good thing to foster a friendship with someone that you spent a lot of time with.
     
    We caught up with relationship expert and dating coach, Samantha Jayne, to find out the best ways to turn a past love into a present pal.
     
    [Instagram]https://instagram.com/p/BNes-njAvSj/?utm_source=ig_embed[/Instagram]
     
    Why should I be buddies with my old flame?
     
    There are a number of reasons to maintain a relationship with an ex. Whether it's because you simply don't want them to be completely out of your life, or because they're an all-around excellent person, exes aren't all bad.
     
    "There can be benefits to staying friends with your ex, especially if you have a history," Samantha tells us. 
     
    "Maybe you shared a lot of good memories, maybe they are supportive of your goals, maybe you have shared resources such as a home, pet, friendship circle or social network.  
     
    "Rather than starting from scratch you can change the dynamic of the relationship… but only if there are is no sexual attraction. 
     
    "Staying friends with an ex has the benefits of providing you with security, emotional comfort, support and positive emotions," says Samantha. 
     
    "Some people transition into friendship once attraction is gone and some people transition into friendship once they have met someone else. There is no right or wrong. Do what genuinely feels right."
     

     

    Are there reasons I shouldn’t let them back into my life?

    Of course! Not all relationships are created equal, and sometimes relationships were ended for very, very good reasons. If your partner was incompatible, manipulative or abusive, it's not a good idea to get back involved with them — even if it's platonic, and even if it's at their urging. 

    Make sure to think about your relationship and your ex's personality and disposition before reaching out.
     
    "Sometimes staying friends with an ex is purely about avoiding drama. Maybe they haven't let go of you and you are trying to be civil. This is not good in the long run as there is an unresolved attraction and tension," says Samantha. 
     
    "Sometimes people like to move on from the past and remaining friends can be a roadblock to finding someone new — keeping your ex in the background can fill the void of loneliness but will ultimately keep you from getting back out there."
     
    New relationships on either side can be factors, too. "You might have moved on or they have moved on and the new partner is not comfortable with your friendship. This is understandable and should be respected."
     
    Friendships are also best to be avoided if your ex still expresses displays of control over you. "If they obsess over you or want to continue to control you, then they have problems letting go. It's unhealthy to remain friends in these situations because they might try to sabotage your new relationship. So it is best to adopt a zero contact policy."
     
     
    How should I go about bridging the gap between my ex and myself?
     
    1. Have some time apart. Mourn the relationship. Real time apart and completely disengage. No phone, text, social media. This will give you time to heal. You should do this for 3 months minimum — some may need more time. Use this time to focus on your hobbies, work, and living happily.
     
    If you're still unsure if you're ready to reach out as friends, ask yourself "How would I feel if I saw your ex with someone new?" If you still feel pain or become emotional, then you're not ready.
     
    2. Clarify your motives . Identify why you would like to maintain the friendship. Is it healthy for you? Closure, emotional support? Do you still feel attraction? Do they still feel attraction are you genuinely wanting to be friends or is it a power thing?
     
    3. Get in touch with your ex. Be open, tell them how you feel and how you want to remain friends. Be prepared for anything. They could welcome your contact or reject it. If they agree, the best way to go about connecting is to take the pressure off and spend time together as a part of a group.
     
    4. Don't fall back into old patterns. Keep up boundaries. Limit communication — try not to text them daily like you did when you were in a relationship.  Don't put yourself in a position with alcohol, an evening date or go to places where you used to go when you were in love.  Lay down the rules and be strong about them. Don't talk about your relationship. Look forward and be a true friend. No flirting or sex talk. Don't talk about the things that bother you like you would to a partner. This is a whole new dynamic. Most importantly, don't doubt the breakup and stick to your guns.
     
    5. Be genuine about your friendship. Be prepared they may meet someone else. If during your friendship you notice that it ignites your feeling of love and attraction or vice versa, take a step back and time out until those feelings settle, then you can reassess. Be optimistic about your relationship and don't try to compare it to the past.
     
    Go forth and be friendly.

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    It's a privilege to share this miraculous testimony to the world. I'm Beth Walters from England. My husband divorced me 4 months back and i have been filled with remorse for I didn't know what to do to amend issues with my husband. I searched for help on the internet on how I could get help in my marriage and I discovered great testifiers about Priest Ade who has been progressive with his spells. I got in touch with him and behold, Priest Ade told me that he will prepare a spell for me that will bring back my husband. I was skeptical but I had no other option but to work with him. 2 days later, my husband called me that he's coming back home and from that day till this moment, we have been living peacefully. He is back now with so much love and caring. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster has the power to bring lovers back and the most surprising thing is that our love is very strong now,every day is happiness and joy. and There is nothing like being with the man you love. I will highly recommend Priest Ade  to anyone one out there who needs help whatsoever If you have any problem contact Priest Ade, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you!!.  ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com or ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com

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    It's a privilege to share this miraculous testimony to the world. I'm Beth Walters from England. My husband divorced me 4 months back and i have been filled with remorse for I didn't know what to do to amend issues with my husband. I searched for help on the internet on how I could get help in my marriage and I discovered great testifiers about Priest Ade who has been progressive with his spells. I got in touch with him and behold, Priest Ade told me that he will prepare a spell for me that will bring back my husband. I was skeptical but I had no other option but to work with him. 2 days later, my husband called me that he's coming back home and from that day till this moment, we have been living peacefully. He is back now with so much love and caring. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster has the power to bring lovers back and the most surprising thing is that our love is very strong now,every day is happiness and joy. and There is nothing like being with the man you love. I will highly recommend Priest Ade  to anyone one out there who needs help whatsoever If you have any problem contact Priest Ade, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you!!.  ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com or ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com

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    Gomez11 23 Jun 2020 2:32 AM

    When i read a testimony online on how Dr. Adeyemi the great and most powerful spell caster help to bring back Divorce husband or wife EX LOVER. I was wondering how can this be true, Because many has failed me in the past without any result from them. I just let the post pass by and move on the forum. To my notice under again, Some person posted and said tested and trusted spell caster. After reading through the blog it was this same man Dr. Adeyemi she was talking about. So i have no other option than to really check up how he works.I was totally devastated when my beloved husband left me. It was like my entire world vanishing into sorrow and pain. I know it sounds weird but out of all the spell casters I contacted, he was the only one to give me that impression of being so true and trustful. More than his words,He brought my husband back and he made all my wishes come true. He is now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me flowers every Sunday, and we often go out to the cinema and the restaurant. my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to heaven! i believe who need help should get to him for help. May God continue to use you to save broken relationship. To every one with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Adeyemi the GREAT ultimate spell caster..

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    Lena01 22 Jun 2020 7:31 PM

    Hello my name is Susan from USA i want to share an amazing experience i had with the almighty Priest Ade, my husband Greg filed for a divorce i was really devastated i cried day and night everyday i told a friend of mine about the situation and she told me about the powerful spell caster Priest Ade i was feeling a little bit skeptical about it but i just decided to give him a try i did every thing he asked me to do and he promised me 24hrs result and the next morning to my greatest surprise it was Greg on his kneels begging me to forgive and accept him back i'm so happy all thanks to Priest Ade he can also help you contact ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com OR ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com https://ancientspiritspellcast12.wordpress.com  https://priestade.blogspot.com Website: http://ancientspiritspellcast.website2.me    WhatsApp +2347059715465 .

    Lena01 22 Jun 2020 7:30 PM

    Hello my name is Susan from USA i want to share an amazing experience i had with the almighty Priest Ade, my husband Greg filed for a divorce i was really devastated i cried day and night everyday i told a friend of mine about the situation and she told me about the powerful spell caster Priest Ade i was feeling a little bit skeptical about it but i just decided to give him a try i did every thing he asked me to do and he promised me 24hrs result and the next morning to my greatest surprise it was Greg on his kneels begging me to forgive and accept him back i'm so happy all thanks to Priest Ade he can also help you contact ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com OR ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com https://ancientspiritspellcast12.wordpress.com  https://priestade.blogspot.com Website: http://ancientspiritspellcast.website2.me    WhatsApp +2347059715465 .

    Gomez11 22 Jun 2020 7:22 PM

    When i read a testimony online on how Dr. Adeyemi the great and most powerful spell caster help to bring back Divorce husband or wife EX LOVER. I was wondering how can this be true, Because many has failed me in the past without any result from them. I just let the post pass by and move on the forum. To my notice under again, Some person posted and said tested and trusted spell caster. After reading through the blog it was this same man Dr. Adeyemi she was talking about. So i have no other option than to really check up how he works.I was totally devastated when my beloved husband left me. It was like my entire world vanishing into sorrow and pain. I know it sounds weird but out of all the spell casters I contacted, he was the only one to give me that impression of being so true and trustful. More than his words,He brought my husband back and he made all my wishes come true. He is now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me flowers every Sunday, and we often go out to the cinema and the restaurant. my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to heaven! i believe who need help should get to him for help. May God continue to use you to save broken relationship. To every one with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Adeyemi the GREAT ultimate spell caster..

    Email: adeyemia192@gmail.com Whatsapp him +2348167872468

    Cassandras11 22 Jun 2020 4:38 PM

    Are you looking for a way to restore back your broken relationship? If yes help has come your way i got a testimony online about Dr.Nana how he helped someone to get back his ex wife and i contacted him for help also, I am so happy that right now my husband is back to me with so much love and happiness with the help of Dr.Nana if you need help in getting your ex or to fix your relationship back, you can contact him he will help you just the same way he helped me brought back my husband after 1 year of separation contact him today and be happy in your relationship you can email him on nanakwakuspiritualist@gmail.com Call or WhatsApp +2349029905501 webpage https://lovespellsite.blogspot.com/

    AmberPerez 22 Jun 2020 5:06 AM

    My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the Internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Great can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he did a spell for me. Two days later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Great . If you need a spell caster that can cast a spell that truly works, I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you. This is his E-mail: 

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    JenniferSanchez 22 Jun 2020 2:03 AM

    Many people have written articles of how they were helped but I am very grateful to this great man who brought my ex husband back to me. This testimony is a true story and my name is Jennifer Sanchez. When I came in contact with this man was also through a testimony written about him helping with a cure for Herpes Virus and I have also encountered many testimonies about how he has been helping others with their life. To get back with an ex is one of the most innermost feelings many people would love to experience especially as those memories with our ex always cloud our mind when someone else does some of those things our ex used to do. I was a single parent of two boys for almost 6 years and though my ex husband was not staying with me and the kids i still wish someday he will return back to me. This doctor I encountered known as Dr Odunga helped me with my wishes and I am happy to write on this website that my ex husband is back with me. I am very happy sharing the testimony with everyone so that they too can meet this great doctor and solve their problems. I don't know what others might feel about getting their ex back in their life but i always know there is a blessing in disguise with just a single re-connection with an ex. If you want to successfully get back with your ex or facing infertility problem, contact this great man at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com  OR WhatsApp/Call +2348167159012 and share an awesome testimony too just like I did

    tony orela 21 Jun 2020 5:34 PM

    It's awesome and amazing. My name is Tony Orela and I am from the United States. Getting my husband back is what I least expected and could never imagine. I and my husband have been married for five years and we have been living happily but all of a sudden he changed completely and turned away from me but i never knew what was going on, and i tried to ask him but he refused to tell me what the problem is, and as time went on he sought for a divorce. I was so worried and confused. During my search for a way out, a friend of mine who had a similar problem told me about a great spell caster called Dr Uzoya who helped her with her situation. I never used to believe in spell casting in my entire life because I never thought it would work but i tried to give this man a chance and to my greatest surprise Dr Uzoya got me a positive result and he was able to get my husband back to me. After the spell caster did his work, I discovered that my husband fell so much in love with me unlike before. This spell casting isn't brainwashing but he opened up his eyes to see how much I loved and needed him. Now i am a happy woman again and I don't know how am going to thank Dr Uzoya so i am using this opportunity to tell anyone having similar problem to visit him on driraborspellcaster@gmail.com his telephone whatsapp number is +1(301)909-8775

    Lena01 21 Jun 2020 3:47 PM

    My name is Riana from USA i want to testify of a powerful spell caster who return my ex boyfriend,it all started when i took his phone and saw a lady message him that she enjoyed the last time and i confronted him about it he was angry and and stop talking to me from that day he started acting strange then he told me he didn't want me anymore that he loves someone else i was so diver-stated i cried all day and night he blocked me from his Instagram and on phone so i couldn't reach him anymore this made me sad and cry even the more i was searching for something online when i saw a comment about Priest Ade  great work i contacted him and told him about my problems and i did everything he asked me to do he told me after 24hrs my ex will return back to me well i doubted him though because my ex didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore the next day to my greatest surprise he called me and was begging me to give him another chance now we are both happy together all thanks to Priest Ade he can also help you contact below ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com  https://priestade.blogspot.com

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    Read more on his Website http://ancientspiritspellcast.website2.me

    View video on YouTube https://youtu.be/ky8QtXoIaDI

    WhatsApp: +2347059715465 

    Gomez11 21 Jun 2020 6:06 AM

    When i read a testimony online on how Dr. Adeyemi the great and most powerful spell caster help to bring back Divorce husband or wife EX LOVER. I was wondering how can this be true, Because many has failed me in the past without any result from them. I just let the post pass by and move on the forum. To my notice under again, Some person posted and said tested and trusted spell caster. After reading through the blog it was this same man Dr. Adeyemi she was talking about. So i have no other option than to really check up how he works.I was totally devastated when my beloved husband left me. It was like my entire world vanishing into sorrow and pain. I know it sounds weird but out of all the spell casters I contacted, he was the only one to give me that impression of being so true and trustful. More than his words,He brought my husband back and he made all my wishes come true. He is now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me flowers every Sunday, and we often go out to the cinema and the restaurant. my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to heaven! i believe who need help should get to him for help. May God continue to use you to save broken relationship. To every one with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Adeyemi the GREAT ultimate spell caster..

    Email: adeyemia192@gmail.com Whatsapp him +2348167872468

    Lena01 20 Jun 2020 2:50 PM

    Hello my name is Lauren i'm from USA i want to testify of a great and powerful spell caster my husband left me and the kids for 2 weeks when i called him he didn't pick up when he came back home the 3rd week he told me he wanted a divorce i was so sad i cried all night he left again i was so lonely the next day i was searching for something online when i found a spell caster called Priest Ade who have helped so many people with their problems so i contacted him with my problems he told me it will take 24hrs and my husband will be back to me i did every thing he told me to do and the next day my husband came back kneeling and begging he canceled the divorce we are now happy together Priest Ade can help you too Email him at

    ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com  https://ancientspiritspellcast12.wordpress.com

    Blog: https://priestade.blogspot.com Website http://ancientspiritspellcast.website2.me

    WhatsApp +2347059715465

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