8 Things no one tells you about masturbating

by
8 Things no one tells you about masturbating

1. There is no way that you can masturbate so much that you will never be able to enjoy sex with a live human person. I guess there’s the idea you’ll get so good at getting yourself off that no one else can ever match it, but someone else touching you is always better than you touching you. It just is.

2. It’s not some weird thing that only creepy perverts do in alleys while wearing dirty nightgowns.  Your librarian masturbates (probably among the stacks), your doctor masturbates (hopefully nowhere nearby), and all your friends masturbate (possibly while texting you weird GIFs because multitasking is important in today’s modern world). They just do.

3. If you can’t make yourself come by masturbating, that doesn’t mean you are doomed for life. Plus how the eff are you supposed to figure out how to do it when we’re all basically told this next one’s true…

4. No, you’re not supposed to use your fingers as a mini penis ramming into your vagina. Most women can’t even come by penetration only from a regular-size penis, let alone this 3-inch dick finger, so yeah, that’s a road to nowhere.

5. It still totally counts as masturbating if you’re just playing with your vulva for hours while watching TV sans orgasm-fest. If you’re touching yourself and enjoying it, it doesn’t matter that you didn’t have eight explosive orgasms. Honestly, I’ve had orgasms via masturbating before and I didn’t enjoy the masturbation part of it that much (I guess my heart wasn’t in it) so don’t let that be the defining thing that makes it “count.”

6. Masturbating even though you have a boyfriend doesn’t make you a cheating skank. First of all, skanks are not a thing, and second of all, everyone masturbates (see no. 2). Even if you love the person you’re dating and they always get you off, blah, blah, blah, they’re still masturbating and you can be too. If you need to work them into the equation, go for it. But if you need to keep thinking about Chris Pine for your own reasons (like reasons 1 through 8: Chris Pine), that’s chill too.

7. Using sex toys doesn’t make you bad at doing it yourself. Just because you can’t get off unless you’re using sex toys doesn’t mean you’re the world’s worst masturbator. Plus, real talk: Sex toys will almost always trump hands. They just will. Especially when it’s midnight and you’re really tired and you don’t feel like doing multitasking circus tricks, but still want to get off super quickly so you can go to sleep already. That said…

8. You can still masturbate even if you don’t have some top-of-the-line, Triple G-Spot Orgasm Monster Sex Toy From Outer Space 3000. Spend a day figuring out what works with your hands, the world’s free-est sex toy ever. (Though it is not dishwasher-safe, you guys. I’ve tried.)

Keep reading

What Our Community Really Thinks Of The Biggest Cult Beauty Products

What Our Community Really Thinks Of The Biggest Cult Beauty Products

Makeup — October 5, 2021

Share your thoughts

Comments 2

  1. My purpose out here today is to share this article to the world about how Doctor Odunga helped me in getting back my EX-boyfriend that broke up with me 4 months ago. I tried all i can to make him see reasons with me so that we can continue our relationship but he denied me. Thank God for giving me the thought of going into the internet for help, i searched properly and i saw different reviews of Doctor Odunga and i insisted in giving it a try by contacting him via what’s app on (+2348167159012). He gave me reason to live again and he prepared a spell and told me that my Ex-boyfriend will come back to me within 28 hours. Can you believe it, my EX-boyfriend came back to me and our wedding will hold Soon. Contact him now!!! if you need any help. Email: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and he does a lot of spells. Once again i want to say am very grateful for your help

  2. SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP ONLINE WITH A TRUSTED AND RELIABLE SPELL CASTER. Email: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com

    My name is Jenny Sanchez and i am very happy to doctor Odunga for helping me get my ex husband back and this made me very excited that i came online here to post about his work. I made a promise to him that if he got my ex husband to me in 2 days, I will make a great testimony and bring many people who need help to him for help. His spiritual temple is in Africa and he has been helping so many people. He is a great spell caster and can help you no matter where you are. My husband Peter is now back with me and this spell caster brought my husband back to me in 2 days, someone who left me for 4 years now. Can you please contact this man? He will help you and you will see. His temple Email is odungaspelltemple@gmail.com

    FIX THE FOLLOWING PROBLEMS TO ALL ACROSS THE GLOBE ON:

    Get your ex back spell Lottery Spell Money spell Pregnancy spell Prosperity spell Protection spell Get a huge loan without paying any fee spell Long life spell Freedom From Prison spell Love/Reunion spell Marriage spell Popularity spell Killing/Revenge spell Healing spell

    Contact HIM of any of these today at: EMAIL: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com OR Call and WHATSAPP HIM +2348167159012