9 degrees of connection every successful couple needs

Levels of attraction and connection vary between person to person, which is part of what makes each relationship different from our last. 

While some are fuelled on a physical connection, others will stimulate us emotionally.

But, is the key to a successful relationship ticking every box? Or can connecting deeply on one level make up for lacking in another?

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We speak to sex and relationship coach Georgia Grace who reveals “your relationship can be healthy and fulfilling even if it’s lacking in one area”.  

There is no right or wrong in a relationship. And when it comes to defining your non-negotiables Georgia explains that “these will be different for everyone” and that “they may also change based on where you’re at in life, what you want and need from a relationship”. 

Here are some of the basic connections that may be present, or lacking within your relationship:

Sexual Connection 

Arguably the most discussed, and for many, the most important. 

While commonly on the forefront of our minds and ‘perfect partner’ checklists – Georgia explains “when it comes to sexual attraction, the biggest misconception I see with couples is that they think good sex comes naturally”.

However, she reveals that “in reality, this is rarely the case. It takes intentional time and practice to learn how to have good sex with your partner consistently”.

Friendship Connection

Those who are big believers in the age-old expression, “marry your best friend”, aren’t wrong about friendship being an important factor.

If you and your partner enjoy each other’s company, and can have a laugh, it’s safe to say you have a strong connection as friends. 

Emotional Connection 

An emotional connection is often the glue that holds couples together.

This refers to the ability to express how you are feeling and be understood by your partner.

Professional Connection

Do you and your partner bond over career aspirations? Does their 9 to 5 interest and inspire you?

Perhaps you are in the same industry, or your relationship started as an office romance. 

We’re thinking Rachel Zane and Mike Ross or Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd..a professional connection can certainly be a perk. 

Family Connection

If you have positive relationships with your partners family and vice versa, this can add an additional degree of support to your relationship. 

It can help provide context into why your partner is the way they are, their upbringing, and who they truly are around the people that know them the best.

Shared Goals Connection

This is the point in your relationship where the “I” becomes “we”. 

Having shared goals can be as little as wanting to go away for a holiday over Christmas, or as big as planning to have three kids.

A frequent undoing of relationships is when couples see their lives going in different directions.

Social Connection

Do you both love spending your weekends with friends? Or, does one of you leave the party early, while the other stays all night?

Sharing an uber home is not only cost-effective, but an unspoken love language.

Hobbies and Interests Connection

Do you both share common passions that translate into weekend plans or enthusiastic conversation?

Whether you are both avid surfers, budding home-cooks or early risers who start the day together with a morning walk, a connection of hobbies will bring you together, where as a failure to align on long-term goals will see most couples tear apart.

Financial Connection

It’s not the most romantic of topics, but money can make or break a lot of relationships. While of no interest to some, it’s important to feel comfortable where you stand financially with your partner. 

The pressure of lockdown has undoubtedly left a strain on the strongest of couples. So if you need to talk about it, do so.  For those looking to work on any or all of the above, Georgia’s online course Modern Sex in Partnership with Lovehoney supports couples in navigating attraction, practicing important relational skills and inviting joy back into your relationship. She even offers playful video and audio clips as well as at-home practices to learn the art of sexual connection. 

Main image credit: @olivecooke