The funny things people say

My one today in a restaurant I overheard two older ladies saying “those can’t be real boobs, and she must have had a face job.”

Hmmmm…

So a week ago I was beauty shopping with my lovely friend who always has perfect eyeliner. As per her suggestion I go to buy the KVD tattoo liner and ask for any advice on applying it… her reply is

“I find that the best way to go about liquid eyeliner is to become ambidextrous”

I couldn’t stop laughing! I mean if it’s as simple as giving yourself a rare genetic talent then sign me up!

This is what one gets when one is friends with artistically gifted people. facepalm

This one was a joint effort between my sister and I and probably falls into the “had to be there” category.

I was over there dropping off some perfume cards I had dutifully spritzed to assist her hunt for a new perfume and picking up my payment, a deluxe sample of a perfume she didn’t like which happened to be called “Air”

We chatted for an hour or so and when it was time to go I said “Well I’d better go… thanks so much for the Air!!!”

My sister burst out laughing and called me a name and said I didn’t need to be passive aggressive, if I had wanted a drink or something I should have just asked… I was confused and asked her what it meant.

It turns out she didn’t think I was thanking her for the perfume, she thought I was saying “Thanks for the air” to be rude and point out she didn’t offer me a drink or anything!

Oh sisters… haha too funny.

My nephew was showing me his school photos & as he was shutting the folder, he pointed & said: “I can’t stand her, she wears too much makeup on her fat face, no offence”. NO OFFENCE? LMFAO! Little bastard!

Kids… World’s best comedians.

My daughter said the funniest thing ever. She was maybe 9 or 10 at the time. Driving to school one morning, we were talking about what future job she might like to have.

“I might work for the Air Force. But they have to wear uniforms, so maybe I’ll just work at Woolies.”

She is always saying stuff that makes me laugh hysterically, and then frantically try to remember if I ever dropped her on her head as a baby. I’m sure I didn’t, but maybe I did and just forgot?