Catfished
I was emotionally involved with someone on and off that I ‘met’ (I normally say that I imet) on the internet in a different decade to the one we’re in now. I would have relationships and we’d still speak during them so I emotionally cheated.
A number of years ago I even ended a relationship that, if he hadn’t been in the background, would’ve been amazing.
We used to talk about everything and he knew me better than anyone possibly ever will. He’d write me letters and send me flowers (that part stopped a long time ago).
I kept pushing for us to meet but there was always an excuse. A year ago we had a massive fight about it and I said that I was finally done. I also threw into the mix the suggestion that he may be Catfishing me before the phone call finished.
I was watching Catfish two months ago. Mid episode I turned the TV off. I decided to give internet sleuthing one last shot. I’d previously attempted some over the years and gotten no where. Not this time. I found out that the object formerly of my affection was a Catfish. I was upset that I’d allowed myself to be lied to, given affection and consideration to this liar and that I hadn’t fully given my relationships a chance.
I am still upset and angry. Some of that is directed at me but the majority is directed at my Catfish. At least, I think it is. I honestly have no idea how to get through the numbness and waves of anger. I am deeply embarrassed too.
Help beauties – I really don’t know where to start. A few additional things:
– I see a Psychiatrist a couple of times a month due to long standing depression.
-I totally accept that I made life and romantic decisions whilst considering my Catfish.
-I have regretted ending one relationship for a number of years. I can’t say my life would be better but it certainly would be different. I consider that one to be ‘the one I let get away’.
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