Argh! Peer Pressure RSS

Apr 12, 2012 11:00am
Ohno

Lawliet

Pardon my rant! I’m 20 so I shouldn’t even be experiencing peer pressure anymore!
People I meet when I go out and even some old friends of mine all hassle me about one thing….

I don’t drink alcohol.
I hate the taste (except Midori, occasionally :P) and when I tell this to people I get “hurr hurr, I’m gonna make you drink you just wait” or “Lame! don’t you want to experince a hangover?” I have, and that’s another reason why I don’t touch the stuff.

I also don’t eat meat when I go out (I’m not a vegetarian but I prefer the vegetarian meals) and even then I get people telling me they’ll force feed me meat.
What the? I don’t care what they eat or drink, so why do these people keep trying to shovel it down my throat!?

I stand my ground, especially if they start calling me lame or boring. I’m insecure and want people to like me but I will not change myself just to suit others.

Does anyone else get this kind of rubbish from “friends” too?

618 posts
Apr 12, 2012 11:08am
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SMP-kitten

Member since 2008

I used to manage a bar and I was on anti depressants for 6 months while working there and I constantly got “It’s more fun to drink when you’re on anti-depressants” – when no it isnt, it’s just worse for you. I didnt even consider a drop of alcohol the entire time.
Generally people who like to drink will hassle others to because it makes them feel better about drinking if everyone else is too. Also because they know that a sober person around a bunch of drunks remembers the stupid things they do, wont get their drunk jokes etc

People see something they can hassle you about, they will – just because its fun for them.
Dont take it too hard, just laugh along with them and if it really bothers you – tell them you’ve had enough.If they keep going just dont go out with them next time.

531 posts
Apr 12, 2012 11:16am
Kitty-yahh

SoMuchPretty

Generally people who like to drink will hassle others to because it makes them feel better about drinking if everyone else is too.

THIS. Huge 2nd.

Hang in there. Be firm about the fact you’re not going to drink. They will get the message eventually.

745 posts
Apr 12, 2012 11:25am
Flowers

Rk2002

i used to alays eat meat when i ate out and could never understand ppl who didnt until i tried a vegetarian dish for myself. Now i love to go for the vegetarian option when i eat out- i find they are usually less oily but very flavousome. The people who dont understand your veggie loving ways may not have tried veggie dishes- maybe get them to try some. If it doesnt work-dont listen to what they have to say. Im 21 and really drink and like vegetarian options- and i know heaps of people in the same boat. Even though you may feel alone at times just know that ur not

255 posts
Apr 12, 2012 11:33am
Solitaire

Jannz

I totally understand the peer pressure thing in regards to drinking – worst of all it comes from my family! They are all big drinkers and have encouraged it from a young age. Recently my grandfather helped himself to a glass of wine and offered me one, I refused his offer so he said, “come on, you’re a big girl now”, which really annoyed me. I don’t abstain from alcohol by choice, my body doesn’t really process it (I can’t handle even coffee or energy drinks either – they give me severe nausea). I am actually quite frustrated by the fact I can’t drink, but have come to terms with it – it’s only a problem when other people make an issue out of it. The last experience I had with alcohol I was vomiting uncontrollably down the street (I’ve never done that before, so embarrassing) and my poor boyfriend had to look after me the whole night and next day. He doesn’t really drink himself and rather than giving into peer pressure like I did he blatantly refused a drink. People kept forcing glasses of wine into his hand but he would put it straight down or tip it out. He got abused as the result of refusing a drink. Other people don’t bother us so much about it but I always get the feeling people think we’re “weird” because of it.

528 posts
Apr 12, 2012 11:45am
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SMP-kitten

Member since 2008

Long story short – some people cant handle people who have different opinions to them. They are close-minded and not worth worrying about.

531 posts
Apr 12, 2012 11:47am
Dolphindesk

softness

Member since 2007

I know Lawliet – as basically non-drinkers ourselves sometimes it’s hard because it seems like the rest of Australia is just having a booze up and making any excuse for it at every tick of the clock.

But I know there are other people around who don’t drink (like you! yay!) and half of my family are non-drinkers too and my children think drinkers who come out sometimes on our street look terrible (and smell!) and act retarded when they’re drinking. Well, they are losing brain cells with every drink so it’s true I suppose!

Some older people on my hubby’s side of the family recently woke up to themselves because they were going through two bottles of red wine a night together and they always noticed that several other members of the family didn’t need to drink to enjoy Christmas, birthdays, Easter etc. Basically they’ve put on a lot of weight and caused themselves health problems but they’ve acknowledged their problem just recently and have become quite ashamed of their habit. I know they really want to change but I think they’re finding it a tough one. Alcohol is very addictive and creeps into people’s lives in a very sneaky way. It’s a nasty drug and I remember when it became illegal to advertise alcohol on television but in the last few years it’s crept back onto our TV screens. I don’t believe they need to advertise alcohol to a nation with a drinking problem!

Good on you Lawliet for standing your ground!

SMP is right that those ‘friends’ are trying to force their personal habits onto you just to make them feel more justified in what they are doing. That’s pretty awful that they are pushing you like that regards to what meals you choose to eat. Maybe make some new respectful friends and keep those pushy friends in your ‘outer circle’ of friendships or let them slip away altogether?

Like SoMuchPretty says too – keep firm! : )

3851 posts
Apr 12, 2012 11:53am

Michelle Swe...

I don’t drink and I don’t eat meat. People who are trying to make you feel bad about a healthy choice feel bad about themselves so they want to bring you down. It isn’t going to hurt if you drop these people out of your life if they don’t stop with the pushing. Maybe it is time to find people that are more on your wave length and hold themselves and you to a higher standard.

360 posts
Apr 12, 2012 11:57am
Profilebl

Ms Jelena

Good on you for standing your ground!

If they are making you feel uncomfortable, maybe you should ditch them (as harsh as it sounds). They are pushing their views on you to make themselves feel “awesome”, but that’s not what friendship is.

I don’t mind drinking, but I know my limits and I would never drink to get drunk, nor would I want to make someone else do it!

1756 posts
Apr 12, 2012 11:58am
Mwah

Inga409

Don’t let it bother you, I’m a vegetarian and I don’t drink either! Mind you I’m only 17 but in a way that’s worse because everyone else my age doesn’t seem to be able to have fun unless alcohol is involved. I get a lot of crap from girls saying I’m boring because I’m not interested in drinking, or because I’m not boy-crazy and have no interest in having a boyfriend. And as soon as people hear I’m vegetarian I get labelled as the ‘tree hugger’ (though it doesn’t help that I ride my bike everywhere and happen to like scented candles lol)
People conform way to fast nowadays and if the peer pressure is really bothering you, maybe try to find company with people who share your views and care to understand instead of being rude about it.

540 posts
Apr 12, 2012 12:30pm
Av

Elunia

Be strong and don’t worry about what they say. I am only a few years older than you and I went through that huge hassle because I don’t drink alcohol (actually some are still at it but I have grown immune to it)

I found that ignoring the comments are easier than addressing it with an explanation of why or even just a blunt, ‘I don’t want to drink’ works best…but each case differs

1288 posts
Apr 12, 2012 12:47pm
Zelda-and-link-ocarina-of-time-the-legend-of-zelda-401267_630_564

breathesarah

I dont drink either because I hate the taste and yes I get the “Im gonna get you so drunk one day” “Ill make you drink”
Its also hard because at uni, thats all everyone does, goes out and drink, goes to social events which involve getting drunk. Im not really into that and as a result havent made many friends.
They think im weird then I tell them im not really into that and I dont drink. I dont care though.
As for not eating meat, I cant believe people tell you they will force feed you meat. Its completely your choice no one should care whether you eat meat or not.
Dont change yourself! And stand your ground. I get hurt when people call me weird or lame, but in reality they are being plain rude!

894 posts
Apr 12, 2012 1:04pm
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dorme

I don’t drink alcohol.
I hate the taste (except Midori, occasionally :P) and when I tell this to people I get “hurr hurr, I’m gonna make you drink you just wait” or “Lame! don’t you want to experince a hangover?” I have, and that’s another reason why I don’t touch the stuff.

I get it too! I think I missed the ‘alcohol is cool boat’, I was on some medication when I turned 18 for an autoimmune problem so wasn’t allowed to drink. Some people I went out with completely shunned me because I wasn’t drinking! I do enjoy a drink every so often, but it is entirely your own choice as to whether you drink or not! Our town’s town scene is scary, being sober and not getting picked up is hard enough.

Same with what you eat! It is awful you have friends who hassle you about it, as long as you’re eating there shouldn’t be a problem! I tend not to eat if we go out, I generally can’t afford it, I get a lot of crap about that, I eat before I go out purely because my wallet is full of moths not money!

Standing your ground is definitely the way to go about it. I lost many friends because I was sick and needed medication more than alcohol, I figure stuff ‘em! They’ve just lost themselves a lovely friend!

758 posts
Apr 12, 2012 1:39pm
Ohno

Lawliet

Thanks everyone, good to know I’m not the only one experiencing this.
Here’s somehting funny I found on the subject of drinking….
http://comedians.jokes.com/jim-gaffigan/videos/jim-gaffigan—-people-who-don-t-drink
hahah it’s so true.

You’re right SMP, that’s exactly why people do it

Agreed Softness our culture puts too much empahsis on drinking to have a good time; and good on those people on your husbands side of the family at least they’ve aknowledged that they have a bit of a problem.
I did distance myself from these friends about 3 years ago and recently met up with them again. It’s just this one persistent guy that hassles me about it. What bugs me more are the people you meet out and about, they don’t want to know you after they find out you don’t drink. Like, what the?

Inga, hey you’re doing your bit for the environment, that’s awesome (scented candles are the best btw!). Alot of people just don’t understand that some of us find the whole drinking thing boring too.

Dorme, it’s so weird isn’t it? like who really cares what you eat (or don’t) and drink. It’s not worth losing friends over.

618 posts
Apr 12, 2012 2:50pm
Star2

beautystar

Member since 2007

I rarely drink. When I was your age I hated the taste of it so just didnt see the point of forcing myself to drink something i didnt like. That really annoyed my group of friends. They just didnt get it. I am quite an outgoing person and a good conversationalist (well, so I think) and I found alcohol dulled me. It switched my brain off so I was no longer able to hold a conversation and I thought that it made me quite boring so I choose not to drink – I’d rather be witty and entertaining.

The big problems came when the clock stuck midnight. I was happy to be around my friends when they were drinking until it hit about midnight and they all turned into rambling fools. They would start rehashing the same stories and quite frankly it was boring. So, I’d usually bail soon after and that annoyed them.

As i have gotten older I started to drink a little more (though not in the last few years as i have been knocked up or breast feeding) and there are certain situations where i quite enjoy it. If my hubby and i ever fine dine Ilike sharing a bottle of wine with him (though I’ll prob have 1/3 and he’ll have 2/3). Or if I am at a function I might have a glass or 2 of champagne (took me years to aquire that taste) then that will do me. However, since having kids i pretty much wont drink if they are around. They can hurt themselves in the blink of an eye so I dont want to be just over the limit and unable to drive.

It wouldnt have been until my late 20’s that people finally gave up nagging me to drink. Unfortunately there are no excuses you can give that will please them, from my experience they just dont get it. I think they worry that they will say or do something stupid whilst drunk and the sober person will remember so they’d rather no ‘witnesses’ to their antics.

Its funny (sort of), the guy who pressured me most to drink ended up getting pancreatitis (from too much drinking) so couldnt drink a drop for 3 month. One night we were out and he asked me whether this is what our group of friends were always like when they were drunk. Yep! He then said he has no idea how I stood being around them when they are like that for so many years but the truth is, early in the night when they were just tipsy they were a lot of fun, as soon as they no longer became fun I’d leave.

I have always regarded alcohol as a special ocassion thing. So if I was going out say to a wedding or out to dinner then I’d have a couple but it is not a weekly thing for me. I like to save it to make special ocassions different from every weekend.

I have nothing against drinkers. My husband hates small talk so ‘needs’ the dutch courage. He also finds drinking relaxing. I figure if it makes him happy and doesn’t negatively impact our lives then i have no problem with it (he only drinks on the weekend). We got together at 18 so initially he didnt get my dislike of drinking but it didnt take him long to see that I am just as much fun sober plus I am as stubborn as a mule so if he ever pressured me to drink it would make me more likely to refuse! I think he also likes the fact that there are never any fights over who is designated driver – we share the driving 50:50 – he always drives to the event and i drive us home!!

1669 posts
Apr 12, 2012 3:33pm
Snapshot_edited

Meredithanne90

We are close in age, I’m 21 years old and I also surprisingly cop some flack about why I don’t eat certain meat in particular ham, lamb or beef but I’ll eat chicken.. I’m strangely more interested in vegetables even though I don’t necessarily declare myself a vegetarian. Why I don’t drink excessively-well it’s all to do with the fact that I’m pretty health conscious and care about what goes into my body at the end of the day.

I’ll only drink a standard of 3 drinks minimum lol maybe on my birthday I go overboard with 4-5 I have good tolerance for them, but I only consume drinks that aren’t strong. I never want to experience a hangover again. I have had one before and let me tell you something it was horrendous I went pale and was so sick. I stand my ground too, but they still accept me for who I am.

674 posts
Apr 12, 2012 6:22pm
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SMP-kitten

Member since 2008

By the way I sort of know how you feel about the food choices as well because I’m picky with my seafood. I dont eat a lot of things because I dont like the look, smell or texture. The only seafood I eat is some types of fish and scallops. People try to make me eat prawns and calamari all the time!! I just find them completely offputting. I also hate vinegar… makes me gag.

I tend to eat more vegetables than anything else, which happened really gradually. Sometimes I’ll have a gourmet sausage or a little lean piece of lamb, but otherwise it just looks too fatty and unappealling to me. I like chicken (but not drumsticks or thighs or anything, just chicken pieces).
As well as that I have a whole bunch of things I’m not allowed to eat for my digestive system – whole nuts, seeds, grains, dried fruit, whole legumes, fizzy drinks, white bread.
You pick any of those and most days someone will go “but you can have a little bit right?” – no I cant actually!

531 posts
Apr 12, 2012 6:27pm
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ModernSnowWhite

I’m 22, and ive only had a hangover once. I actually did it on purpose on my 18th birthday because I was curious about what would happen to my body. I wanted to know what it was like. I’ve always had expensive red wine around me, (my parents usually let me have 1 glass with dinner every night – its a greek/Italian, etc thing to let children/teens have a glass at dinner) So it wasn’t like I was all ‘oh wow! alcohol, lets go wild!’ I was just simply curious how my body would handle it. I had no desire to drink as much as I could, in fact, my parents let me taste lots of wines and beers growing up, and I didn’t like it much. Vodka cruises tasted like lolly water to me. fyi, my parents weren’t alcoholics or anything, they only ever have 1/2 drinks as well, they just let me taste it whenever they bought something.

Let me tell you, my little experiment wasn’t nice. 6 white wines later and I had a pounding head, and was crying because my bedroom was spinning. It was terrible, next thing I know i passed out. Woke up the next morning and couldn’t get out of bed. I threw up all over the ground multiple times, and could only rest on my right side. When i went to rest on my left side I wanted to throw up (strange, i know). My head felt like a truck had run over it. I was thinking the whole time ‘how the hell do people enjoy this!!!! Being drunk isn’t nice!’ I couldn’t get up until late afternoon.

I drink alcohol, but I only like 1 or 2 drinks, even when I go out. I’ve never been a drinker, never will. My body can’t handle anymore, if I try to have 3 I get a blinding headache. I only like particular drinks anyway, most alcohol I hate the taste of. Plus, I only drink red wine for good health, I have 1 glass at dinner time. It’s just a cultural thing for me as well. Since I’m 22, i always get the ‘oh your boring, you don’t drink much!’ from other people my age, but really I don’t care less. I rather look after my body.

1000 posts
Apr 12, 2012 8:25pm
Perfect-eye-shadow

Nyxen

I too rarely drink and someone is always trying to get me to have a drink :( My good friends accept it now and I can have my soda water and live in peace but I’ve even had a waitress comment when I ordered soda water once. She said why would you bother!!!
My friend then said because that’s what she likes!!!!

Just live your life the way you want to and forget about the others…you’ll never be pulled over for drink driving:))))

1058 posts
Apr 13, 2012 12:49am
Teapot_2

imalittleteapot

Stick to your guns Lawliet. I’ve been with my husband for 22 years and I’ve never ever seen him drink alcohol. He’s copped flack for it from work mates and the likes because he would never go to the pub after work for a beer. Sometimes I think it’s a little harder for a man because of the pub culture we have here.

Your friends are just trying to justify their own actions. Just think of the hang overs you’re not experiencing and the money you’re saving!

834 posts
Apr 13, 2012 10:47am
Ohno

Lawliet

Kaikoso,Thanks hahaha it’s alright I know they’re disrespectful losers :P some are alright with it now (one is even trying the no drinking thing out for himself) but you get those few persistent idiots that think I’m ruining all the fun.

SMP-kitten, Regarding the food thing I’ve noticed alot of it probably stems from ignorance as well. If they knew what some of those foods are doing to you, they would stop.Then again, some people are just controlling like that :P

Meridithanne & Disco Milk, Sounds awful! I had a similar hangover experience too, I remember wanting to shoot my head off it was that bad lol. People try to use that to get people to drink too “You don’t know what you’re missing, the morning after when everythings all sketchy is brilliant” uh, no it’s not.

Kellie, Hahaha agreed!
Also, good on your husband for not giving in, the amount of pressure there is out there for men to drink is crazy!

618 posts
Apr 14, 2012 10:30am
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Demmy M

I’m vegetarian and a non-drinker too :) I’m almost 21, so I’m also in that age category where everyone likes to get drunk. I never even realised some people thought my lifestyle was a problem until about a month ago, when one of the girls at work said her life would be boring if it were like mine. I find the best way to deal with peer pressure (or when people ask why I don’t drink) is to tell them that I don’t need to drink to have fun. It tends to shut people up and make them re-think their own need for alcohol.
In terms of being vegetarian, I’ve been vego my whole life so I tell people that meat isn’t necessary to my lifestyle and I’m probably healthier for it :) I hope this helps you, it’s so important to be happy and have respect for YOURSELF – don’t succumb to the whims of others!

114 posts
Apr 14, 2012 11:08am
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Rpear

The guy that hassles you lawlet, probably likes you! Guys are so stupid, but chances are he thinks you are a hottie, and any conversation to him is a good thing. Just keep doing what you are doing! A lot of meat and drinks is so bad for you! These people will work it out eventually! It was nice you tried to give them another shot, but maybe just hang out with your other friends for a while or do day stuff with them so less chance of them being drunk….

1222 posts
Apr 14, 2012 5:07pm
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Stephanie xx

Yup I am 20 too and drink rarely and so many people think it strange! It is not strange I just don’t want to drink :) I have even found because I don’t drink much I have found it hard to make friends at Uni where everyone seems to be focused on drinking and partying.

I think we just need to ignore those people who don’t like that others don’t drink. I don’t need alcohol to have a good time :)

1063 posts
Apr 14, 2012 5:50pm
Mwah

Inga409

and sadly, that’s the way 99% of the people my age are in my town so it’s not easy to ‘make new friends who share my interests’ so i tend to keep to myself and family.

It sucks doesn’t it, how drugs and alcohol, and partying are the norm nowadays. I don’t get the appeal at all, I’m only 17 and yet apparently it’s ridiculous for me to suggest a bike ride or a camping trip to my friends without them automatically asking who’s bringing the alcohol. I’ve given up on a lot of people and too just keep to myself, I’d rather stay in on a weekend then go out with friends if it means going to clubs.

540 posts